Props to Allah at Hot Air for this one:
Back in February, I posted the infamous Mohammed cartoons. Well, that didn’t sit too well with some folks. The following comment just arrived in the Mattsapundit Central Receiving Depot from a Houston-based commenterr called “TheMuslimBro”:
You narrow minded fools have no repect for beauty. I must say, what my brothers are doing is wrong, but they have their reasons. Only those with an I.Q. above 60 would understand that it hurts, and just because some mulsims are terrorists, doesn’t mean all are. And about the literacy thing, life whil you can retard, I own a 1,000,000+ house in American, and we’re taking your jobs. Pray to Allah for forgiveness, and he will surely forgive you.
Okay, I’d better tackle this one one point at a time. Here goes:
You narrow minded fools have no repect for beauty.
Bro, my culture doesn’t destroy ancient religious artworks, cover every trace of femininity, or threaten actors for making TV movies.
I must say, what my brothers are doing is wrong, but they have their reasons.
So? Merely having a motive doesn’t justify anything. Like Pat Green says, we’ve all got our reasons.
Only those with an I.Q. above 60 would understand that it hurts
What hurts?
and just because some mulsims are terrorists, doesn’t mean all are.
I never said they are.
And about the literacy thing, life whil you can retard,
I assume you mean “laugh while you can.” I assure you, I’m laughing my ass off.
I own a 1,000,000+ house in American, and we’re taking your jobs.
Bro, you’ll never make those mortgage payments if you take my job.
Pray to Allah for forgiveness, and he will surely forgive you.
I suppose. But my beef isn’t with Allah. It’s with some of his more whacked-out followers:
I’m downloading a viewer so I can display CAD files for work. Apparently this software has government restrictions on it, preventing it from being exported to hostile nations. Before I can download it, I’m asked to reply affirmatively with the following statements:
I am not a citizen, national or resident of, and am not under the control of, the government of any country to which the United States has prohibited export of technical information, such as (as of 6/15/01): Cuba, Iran, Iraq, Libya, North Korea, Sudan, or Syria.
I will not download or otherwise export or re-export the software, directly or indirectly, to the above-prohibited countries nor to citizens, national or residents of those countries.
I am not listed on the United States Department of Treasury list of Specially Designated Nationals, Specially Designated Terrorists, and Specially Designated Narcotics Traffickers, nor am I listed on the United States Department of Commerce Table of Denial Orders.
I will not download or otherwise export or re-export the software, directly or indirectly, to persons on the above-mentioned lists.
I will not use the software for, and will not allow the software to be used for, any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, for the development, design, manufacture or production of nuclear, chemical, or biological weapons of mass destruction.
Uh, okay. I know the company is just legally covering its ass on this one, but this step is just stupid, insofar as it’s intended to stop nefarious activities. I cant imagine that Mohammed al-Nutcase is getting ready to work on some nuke blueprints, when he reads this warning and gives up.
It’s also a pain in the ass for me, Law Abiding Citizen, because in order to answer affirmatively and honestly, I have to look at the Treasury Department’s Specially Designated Nationals list. And good luck finding the other lists.
Dumbasses.
The Army has released captured Al Qaeda documents revealing the complex administration of the global terror network, including a nice salary and benefits package for the mujahideen. First, the salary:
B- Married individuals:
1- Authorize for them a basic monthly salary of 6,500 Rupees.
2- The sum of 300 Rupees is added per child.
3- Add the sum of 700 Rupees per wife in case of multi-wives.
4- Approve a 10% annual increment of the basic salary for cost of living increase.
Pretty sweet raise structure. These guys can keep up with the property taxes on their caves. By the way, the exchange rate is about 60 Pakistani rupees to the dollar, and per capita GDP (on a purchasing power parity basis) is about $2,400. Next, travel benefits:
2- Tickets
A- The married man whose family is in his own country will be treated like a bachelor in respect to salary but will be given an air ticket home annually.
If you use your free ticket, but then hijack the plane, do you get another ticket? And how do you account for it on your income taxes? Is it income, or a reimbursed employee expense, or what? I digress. Now we come to medical care:
A- All (Al-Qa’eda) members can visit the medical staff and obtain medicine free of charge.
I don’t know if I want to be in Dr. Jihad’s waiting room, considering the Islamic world has yet to develop chairs. I’d rather go out of network:
B- In the event the treatment is unfeasible and medicine is unavailable in Al-Qa’eda warehouse, the member will be paid the costs if more than 100 Rupees, conditional the treatment takes place in Peshawar.
I’m not sure about being treated in “Al-Qa’eda warehouse,” but at least the deductible is low. But if you still can’t find good treatment, there’s also a loan policy:
The administration grants a general loan for urgent need not to exceed 10,000 Rupees. The loan is deducted from salary over one year period.
And of course, it’s interest-free in accordance with Islamic banking customs. And when the stresses of jihad take their toll, why not kick back for a little R&R?
8- Vacations:
A- For those who work in Peshawar, they are entitled for Fridays, the two holy feasts (TC: Al-Adha [during the pilgrimage month] & Al-Fatr [following the end of the month of Ramadan]), and a one month annual leave to be enjoyed at the end of the eleventh month of work, as well sick leave not to exceed 15 days annually.
Fridays off, a month vacation, and two weeks of sick leave? Wow! Pretty sweet, considering these are the rear-echelon guys. But that’s nothing compared to the real cheesecake:
B- Those working in camps and in the frontlines:
Married: Enjoys a 7 day monthly vacation.
Single: Enjoys a 5 day monthly vacation
Is that seven days per wife? The organization even has a nice severance package, but who would want to quit a job with benefits like these?
If the administration dismissed any person, at least a one-month notice should be given to the dismissed party. If the person is to be dismissed soonest possible, then he will be paid a one month additional compensation.
Wow. Those negotiators at the International Beheaders Union sure drive a hard bargain. It’s interesting to note one thing, though: as crazy as these fanatical wackos are, there’s no defined-benefit pension plan. After all, they’re crazy, not stupid.
Free speech, Islamofascist-style:
The 80s called, and they want their jacket back.
So what was the “slander?” Daring to suggest that Islam is angry and violent. Gee, where would we get that idea?
By the way, that photo wasn’t taken on some rock-strewn street in Jalalabad. It was in London.
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