Mattsapundit

Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.) is a disgusting, wretched scumbag:

[gv data="vLuMWiQ6r2o"][/gv]

I guess my brother Tommy, a cavalry officer and Notre Dame graduate, really should have stayed in school. Maybe he could have made something of himself.

Matt Bramanti | October 31, 2006 at 12:50 pm
Posted to Education, Military, National, Politics, Scumbags

7 comments

Regular readers of Mattsapundit will notice that this blog is devoid of comment spam. No Viagra from Canada, no midget porn, no 1% mortgages, none of that crap.

But scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page, and you’ll see that I’ve had more than 1,300 attempted spam attacks, all of them rebuffed without incident. This is because I use Spam Karma 2, an excellent anti-spam program.

The way it works is this: as comments come in, they’re automatically put through a series of filters, each of which can be configured for strictness. Each filter looks for a specific trait common to automatically-generated comments. One looks for comments generated too rapidly, one checks comments against an IP blacklist of known spammers, another checks for an unusually high number of links, while yet another checks for comments on older posts. There are 10 filters in total.

Each filter assigns the comment a karma value based on its performance. This value is cumulative as the comment makes its way through the chain. Suspicious comments tend to have more than one spam-like attribute, so the negative karma builds up. At a certain point, determined by a very high negative karma value, the comment is obviously spam and it’s automagically discarded. Buh-bye, scumbags.

Conversely, real, human-generated comments get good karma. They might have one or two suspicious attributes (originating from a browser that doesn’t support JavaScript, for instance), but they’ll pass the other filters and get posted without a hitch.

The software works almost perfectly. No spam gets through. I haven’t had a single spam comment since I’ve been using Spam Karma 2. That’s pretty impressive, considering I’m just using the default settings. Even better, it’s given no false positives to date. Every once in a while, the software isn’t quite sure whether a comment is spam, and it holds it in moderation for me to approve or deny manually, but that’s only happened maybe three times.

All in all, it’s a nearly perfect anti-spam measure. If you use WordPress, check it out.

Matt Bramanti | June 7, 2006 at 12:29 pm
Posted to Blogging, Reviews, Scumbags, Tech, Uncategorized

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I just got the following unsolicited email written in Hebrew. I guess spam is Kosher now:

כמה זה עלה?

• מחיר שיחה לנייד של רשת מירס. זהו.

התחייבויות, חוזים?

• לא! תתקשר מכל קוו (גם טלפון שקלים, וגם טלקארד שבחוץ),
  מתי שבא לך, כמה שבא לך, ללא התחייבות, ובלי הרשמה.

הטלפון שלי בבית חסום לשיחות לחו”ל, מה עושים?

• מתקשרים, ×–×” לא חסום לשיחות למירס.

ומה יופיע בחשבון חודשי?

• החיוב מופיעה כחלק מהחיובים של חברות סלולאר (מירס).

ולאן אפשר להתקשר?

I’ll task the Mattsapundit Semitic Languages Directorate on this immediately.

Matt Bramanti | June 1, 2006 at 10:08 am
Posted to Business, International, Scumbags

1 comment

In July of 2005, I hired Rachel Doyle of Web-Divas to redesign my blog, which at that time was being hosted on Blogger. She came highly recommended by Ree-C, of Rightmom and Lone Star Times fame. Stupidly, I paid about $160 bucks, all in advance. You can guess what happened next: weeks and then months rolled by with little apparent progress. More than a dozen polite, but increasingly frustrated, emails and telephone calls went unreturned.

She ripped me off.

Today, I happened across this little gem on the Web-Divas site:

Web-Divas is closing its doors after almost 3 years. We are thankful for each and every Client who made us what we became. At this time the health and well-being of our families needs to come first. We just want to say thank you for everything!

Love Rachel & Cherry

Good riddance, scumbag.

Matt Bramanti | March 13, 2006 at 4:35 pm
Posted to Blogging, Business, Crime, Scumbags

4 comments

I’m dumbfounded:

Don’t let the antics of the pathetically delusional Mary Mapes distract you from the lunatics who haven’t yet been canned from the network that gave us both the tinfoil-hat–wearing Walter Cronkite and the propagandizing buffoon known simply as the Dan. NewsBusters reports on a milestone in tastelessness achieved by Bruce Rheins, the producer behind CBS’s coverage of the Michael Jackson trial, who has marketed a wine under the brand “Jesus Juice.” The logo apparently represents a cross between Jesus Christ and Michael Jackson.

As you’ll recall, “Jesus Juice” is allegedly what the King of Pop called the wine he plied little kids with before raping them.

Rheins’ wife got the marketing campaign running while Jackson’s child molestation case was still in court. They made Jesus Juice t-shirts and other items too. As NewsBusters observes:

Rheins’s marketing of Jesus Juice wine (and apparel) raises some troubling journalistic issues since he was attempting to profit from a story which he was personally covering for the “CBS Evening News.”

Matt Bramanti | November 11, 2005 at 11:08 am
Posted to Business, Media, Scumbags

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This one pegged my Hypocritical-Scumbag-O-Meter:

I don’t own a single share of stock!” filmmaker Michael Moore proudly proclaimed.He’s right. He doesn’t own a single share. He owns tens of thousands of shares – including nearly 2,000 shares of Boeing, nearly 1,000 of Sonoco, more than 4,000 of Best Foods, more than 3,000 of Eli Lilly, more than 8,000 of Bank One and more than 2,000 of Halliburton, the company most vilified by Moore in “Fahrenheit 9/11.”

Silly me. I thought he invested all his money in Twinkies.

[Hat-tip: Relapsed Catholic]

Matt Bramanti | November 3, 2005 at 12:55 pm
Posted to Business, Politics, Scumbags

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Hopefully this guy will shut up now, but I wouldn’t bet the ranch:

The Sky Report has secretly filmed one of America’s most controversial Christian ministers praising the London bombings.Fred Phelps says that terrorist outrages and natural disasters such as Hurricane Rita are examples of God’s wrath against countries such as America and Britain for tolerating homosexuals and homosexuality.

Fred Phelps, who set up the controversial Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas, told our undercover reporter about the attacks, which killed 52 people:

“Oh I am so thankful that happened. My only regret is that they didn’t kill about million of them. England deserves that kind of punishment, as does this country (America)”.

The church, which has 150 followers, recently started picketing funerals including those of American soldiers killed in Iraq, waving banners such as “Thank God 9/11″, “God Hates Fags” and “Aids Cures Fags”.

Maybe I’ll print up a sign of my own. How about “God Hates Dumbasses?”

Matt Bramanti | October 25, 2005 at 1:27 pm
Posted to International, National, Scumbags, Terrorism

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Oh, this is rich:

Patty Hearst has a message for folks who are worried about terrorist attacks: Stop wringing your hands, people! 

“I was kidnapped by terrorists. It’s not like I’m numb to this and think it can’t happen. But get real!” Hearst admonished. “There’s so much weeping and wailing and memorializing, my feeling is it’d be a lot healthier if people didn’t externalize so much and kind of bucked up a little bit.”

“What good is our government if they can’t keep our level of fear at a point where we can think about what’s really going on?” she told Lowdown. “We are a nation with the most frightened people on the planet. People who come over here just laugh at us.”

Forgive me if I can’t stomach being lectured about fear by a convicted bank robber and former member of a murderous terrorist organization.

Matt Bramanti | October 10, 2005 at 12:50 pm
Posted to Crime, Scumbags, Terrorism

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Sandy Berger, the guy who thought he could get away with jamming classified documents in his pants, was busted. Again:

Two days after he was placed on probation last month for taking classified documents, former national security adviser Sandy Berger was accused of reckless driving in Virginia by police who said he was traveling 88 miles per hour in a 55 mph zone.

He was stopped on Sept. 10, and two days later he informed the probation office of the U.S. District Court that he had been speeding because he was late to a meeting and was unaware of how fast he was traveling.

Why even try to explain yourself, Sandy? Do you really think the judge who sentenced you for stealing government secrets is gonna buy your excuse for going 33 mph over the limit?

Matt Bramanti | October 5, 2005 at 4:26 pm
Posted to Crime, National, Politics, Scumbags

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Well, it looks like the French can be tough after all. Not on dictators or terrorists, of course.

On puppies.

Matt Bramanti | October 3, 2005 at 10:37 am
Posted to International, Scumbags

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It’s been great to see residents of the Gulf Coast open their hearts in generosity to their fellow citizens. Then again, you just knew some scumbag would screw it all up:

A doctor has offered to perform free abortions on hurricane evacuees, saying it may be too dangerous for them to wait until they return home.Despite protests from abortion opponents, Little Rock Family Planning clinic director Dr. Jerry Edwards said he has already performed six free abortions. The clinic usually charges between $525 and $600 for a first-trimester abortion.

“If we didn’t provide it now, they would get it later — a late-term abortion that would give greater risk to the mother’s health,” Edwards told KTHV-TV in Little Rock.

What a sweetheart. Dr. Edwards has inspired me to perform similar acts of generous violence.

Selfless, caring soul that I am, for the next week I’ll be more than happy to toss hurricane victims down flights of stairs, dropkick stranded puppies, and coldcock elderly evacuees. No charge. Don’t thank me, I’m just doing my duty.

Matt Bramanti | September 28, 2005 at 12:19 pm
Posted to National, Scumbags, Weather

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Remember a while back when it surfaced that some Safe Clear drivers had criminal records?

Well I’m shocked — shocked! — to learn that the towing industry still has more than its fair share of degenerate predatory criminal scumbags:

Two women from different parts of Houston became victims of identity theft and the only common link between the cases was a towing company with the city’s Safe Clear program, the Local 2 Troubleshooters reported Monday.

Andrea Anderson broke down along Highway 59 near Collingsworth. A Safe Clear wrecker was dispatched.

A wrecker from Unified Auto Works towed Anderson’s car to Humble. She paid the bill with her check card. Several days later, Anderson checked her bank account and found more than $600 worth of unauthorized charges, along with a list of overdraft fees.

Around the time Anderson was trying to figure out who was draining her bank account, a different woman’s car broke down along Interstate 10 near Lockwood. Again, a wrecker from Unified Auto Works was dispatched as part of the Safe Clear program.

The woman talked with the Troubleshooters but asked to remain anonymous. She told them she also paid Unified with her credit card. And soon after, she also got hit with hundreds of dollars in unauthorized charges.

It’s very important to note that these were city-mandated tows. Merely by obeying the law and carrying out their duty as citizens, these woman made themselves vulnerable to thieves acting as agents and contractors of the City of Houston.

That would be like showing up to jury duty and having the bailiff slap you in the face, or having a cop shoot out your tire after he pulls you over for speeding.

Actually, that would be easier. A tire doesn’t cost 600 bucks.

Matt Bramanti | August 16, 2005 at 1:04 am
Posted to Crime, Houston, Scumbags

1 comment

Unsurprisingly, Michael Schiavo buried his wife yesterday without informing her parents. Unsurprisingly, he buried her in Florida despite his earlier claims that she would lie in her family’s plot in Pennsylvania. What is surprising is the inscription on her grave. It reads like a macabre press release by Michael’s scumbag lawyer:

But the woman’s parents criticized Michael Schiavo for not notifying them about the burial beforehand and by inscribing “I kept my promise” on the bronze marker. Michael Schiavo had said he promised his wife he would not keep her alive artificially — a critical element of the acrimonious legal battle over her end-of-life wishes.

On the grave marker, Michael Schiavo also listed Feb. 25, 1990, as the date his wife “Departed this Earth.” On that date, Terri Schiavo collapsed and fell into what most doctors said was an irreversible vegetative state.

Schiavo actually died March 31, nearly two weeks after her feeding tube was removed by court order. The grave marker lists that date as when Schiavo was “at peace.”

There’s no word yet on whether Michael brought his mistress and illegitimate children to the funeral.

Matt Bramanti | June 21, 2005 at 6:11 pm
Posted to National, Scumbags

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Ah, sportsmanship.

This is why I watch baseball:

The Champions League quarterfinal between Inter Milan and city rivals AC Milan was abandoned after 73 minutes on Tuesday after Milan keeper Dida was struck by one of dozens of flares thrown down from the stands.

German referee Markus Merk took the players off the pitch at the San Siro stadium after Inter fans began hurling plastic bottles and then over 30 flares on to the penalty area below them after a header by Esteban Cambiasso was disallowed.

Anyone for a soccer stadium in the Bayou City? Yeah, me neither.

Matt Bramanti | April 13, 2005 at 9:31 am
Posted to Bizarre, International, Scumbags, Sports, Stupidity

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Ward Churchill, the anti-American wacko who called compared the 9/11 victims to the Nazis, admitted yesterday he’s a lying scumbag:

“Is he an Indian? Do we really care?” he said, quoting those he called his “white Republican” critics.”Let’s cut to the chase; I am not,” he said.

His pedigree is “not important,” Churchill said: “The issue is the substance of what is said.”

Nonsense. When you’ve built your career on your pedigree, it’s important when that pedigree turns out to be a complete and utter falsehood.

Matt Bramanti | February 23, 2005 at 4:32 pm
Posted to Moonbats, National, Politics, Scumbags

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It’s been a while since I’ve publicly called anyone a worthless, low-down scumbag.

I’ve been saving those words for Ramsey Clark:

So let me explain why defending Saddam Hussein is in line with what I’ve stood for all my life and why I think it’s the right thing to do now.

Here’s a hint: It’s because Clark is a devoted anti-Bush nut with a completely whacked sense of justice. (He wants to free Saddam and put President Bush on trial.)

Both international law and the Constitution of the United States guarantee the right to effective legal representation to any person accused of a crime. This is especially important in a highly politicized situation, where truth and justice can become even harder to achieve. That’s certainly the situation today in Iraq. The war has caused the deaths of tens of thousands of Iraqis and the widespread destruction of civilian properties essential to life. President Bush, who initiated and oversees the war, has manifested his hatred for Saddam, publicly proclaiming that the death penalty would be appropriate.

The United States, and the Bush administration in particular, engineered the demonization of Saddam, and it has a clear political interest in his conviction.

We didn’t have to demonize Saddam Hussein. He already was a demon. Ramsey Clark is going to stall and obfuscate just like Slobodan Milosevic, in an attempt to free one of history’s most evil men.

And then, when it’s all said and done, the Iraqi people will try Saddam, find him guilty, and hang him high. Despite Clark’s shameless efforts, justice will be done.

Matt Bramanti | January 31, 2005 at 3:37 am
Posted to Crime, International, Moonbats, Politics, Scumbags

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Well, it’s official. Howard Dean has tossed his tinfoil hat in the ring for the chair of the Democratic National Committee.

In honor of the move, I’d like to reprint a column I wrote for The Observer, Notre Dame’s student daily. It originally ran January 28, 2004:

The results from New Hampshire are in and former Vermont Gov. Howard “Mad Howe” Dean got drilled. But why? I don’t think the voters are looking at policy. They’re looking at the candidates’ personalities. So, what’s wrong with Howard Dean?Is he a genuinely evil person, or does he just suffer from serious psychiatric disorders? There are some pretty strong arguments either way. That’s why I’m happy to present the Scumbag or Nutcase Scorecard.

First, let’s look at the good doctor’s reaction after the Iowa caucuses. You might have heard Dr. Dean’s audio clips on the Internet the next day.

“We’re going to California and Texas and New York, and we’re going to South Dakota and Oregon and Washington and Michigan!” Dean exclaimed. “And then we’re going to Washington, D.C. to take back the White House!”

Okay, sounds like a standard rally-the-troops speech. Until the primal scream. That’s right, after “take back the White House,” Dean let out a guttural holler that The New York Times dubbed simply “The Scream.” Verdict: nutcase.

Which brings us to the Dean deli caper. The NBC affiliate in Des Moines, Iowa reported that the Dean campaign bought 200 lunches from the Brown Bag Deli, and then walked on the check. The deli’s owner, Scott Hoffman, said the Dean workers stiffed him for $963.01. Let me repeat this: the man stole hundreds of sandwiches. This event brought to you by the man who wants to preside over a $10 trillion economy. Verdict: scumbag.

And now on to the war. Dr. Dean said the standard of living of the Iraqi people “is a whole lot worse now than it was before.” I guess rape rooms, torturing soccer players for losing games, and executing political opponents are the hallmarks of a high standard of living. Verdict: nutcase.

Let’s analyze the deeply seated religious beliefs of the man who would lead the free world. About 25 years ago, he left the Episcopal Church. Was it a complicated theological issue? Ordaining women, perhaps? Nope. He changed religions over a bike path. The city of Burlington wanted to build a municipal bike path on the church’s property. Church leaders said no. So Dean became a Congregationalist. The man renounced his religion over a strip of government concrete. Verdict: scumbag.

In an interview with People magazine, Dean revealed a history of anxiety and panic attacks, including one when he was elected governor of Vermont. Now, for the ordinary person, I guess that’s not so bad. But we’re talking about the guy who can push the nuclear button whenever he feels like it, and I don’t want the jumpy type. Verdict: nutcase.

Ok, there you have it; the Scorecard never lies. Howard Dean appears to be completely off his gubernatorial rocker. Sorry, Howe, but it’s not my fault you’re stark raving mad. Please don’t go on a multi-state killing rampage.

Matt Bramanti | January 11, 2005 at 11:44 pm
Posted to National, Politics, Scumbags, Uncategorized

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I don’t like to throw around terms like “self-absorbed, irresponsible, scumbag, drunken killer who was expelled from Harvard for cheating.”

So let’s just call him the distinguished Senator from Massachusetts.

At any rate, Ted Kennedy has strongly come out against the use of “torture”:

At the hearing, Kennedy pointed out that Gonzales had attended meetings with Justice Department officials where methods of torture were discussed — including “water boarding,” where a suspect is strapped to a board, turned upside down, and immersed in a wet towel to simulate the feeling of drowning.”Did you ever suggest to them that they ought to lean forward on this issue about supporting the extreme uses of torture?” Kennedy asked.

So now it’s acceptable to really drown a mistress, but not to mock drown a terrorist. Um, okay.

Matt Bramanti | January 8, 2005 at 11:49 am
Posted to Moonbats, Scumbags

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