Mattsapundit

This weekend I headed up to Austin for Wes’ birthday and a Halloween party. The following things happened, in no particular order:

• A guy tried to sell me ecstasy,
• Then he stole my malt liquor from the fridge.
• Captain Morgan and I talked about Notre Dame football.
• I was forced to wear a halter top.
• We discovered the nicest Dairy Queen in the world.
• Supergirl fondled my chest angrily.
• We convinced Wes to leave his tomahawk in the car.
• Bobby farted at least every 15 minutes for 6 hours.
• We ate “love butter” at the Magnolia Cafe.

Good times.

Matt Bramanti | October 30, 2006 at 11:18 am
Posted to Holidays, Out and About, Personal

6 comments

It’s going to be a long night at the office, so I went to Randall’s for a Diet Pepsi and a TV dinner a few minutes ago. I approached one of the express lanes, which was clearly marked with a large sign: 15 items or fewer.

The woman in front of me had approximately 40 items splayed all over the conveyor belt, which bugged me. But I didn’t say anything. Then, as the woman was bagging her groceries, she asked the cashier why there wasn’t an employee there bagging her groceries.

The cashier responded that it’s an express lane, and the sackers work at the regular lanes.

The shopper, a bit flustered, then said, “I didn’t know that.”

Bullshit.

First of all, there’s a large sign proclaiming “Express Lane,” and specifying the details thereof. On this sign, the letters and background are in contrasting colors, and the text is printed in block letters in the English language. The sign is suspended directly above the entrance to the lane. Furthermore, it’s positioned in such a way that you can’t see the light indicating the lane is open without having the sign directly in your field of vision.

Secondly, this store is configured like virtually every other grocery store in the English-speaking world. The first two or three lanes are always express lanes.

The cashier started to say something, and the woman cut her off: “Why didn’t you tell me? You should have told me.”

Now, I have a working knowledge of human nature. I understand that all people — myself included — have an inclination to duck responsibility for their mistakes. No one likes to think they’ve failed, so people shift the blame. I understand that. But this woman didn’t blame circumstances, or society, or something else out of her control. She blamed an innocent person for her wrong action. And that pissed me off. I had to say something, so I did.

“No, she shouldn’t have told you,” I said. I turned and pointed to the sign above the register, a sign you can’t miss, even if you’re a stupid, inconsiderate boor.

“There’s a big sign right there. It says ‘15 items or fewer’ in 8-inch letters. You can’t miss it.”

The woman quickly, but not quickly enough, bagged her groceries and left in a huff. I paid for my purchase and the cashier gave me a smile. Made my day.

Matt Bramanti | September 20, 2006 at 5:57 pm
Posted to Out and About, Overanalysis, Personal, Stupidity

17 comments

I now have my very own office. Four walls, a door, the whole nine yards.

One of my coworkers recently tendered his resignation, an event which freed up an office here at the palacial MattCo executive suites. Prior to this event, I had been sharing a larger office with a colleague, which was cool (I really like the guy), but it’s nice to have my own space.
The furnishings are much better. Now I’ve got a larger L-shaped desk with more surface area:

Sweet.
I also have two bookcases, a table big enough to spread out blueprints and a cushy wheeled chair that reclines startlingly far.

As far as decor goes, it can best be described as…um, basic. Speckled, nondescript carpet, off-white walls, flourescent lighting. The boss’ wife put a sort of plant on one of the bookcases. Not really a plant, though. More like a few dried sticks in a nice vase. I hung my diploma from the wall and put a picture of Diane on my desk. I’ll have to put something else on the wall, too. I’ll keep an eye out.

First things first, though. I have to go through all the crap I moved from my old desk. I managed to throw out quite a bit. The sort of thing you hang onto in case you need it, but you never do. But here’s the stuff I do need — contents of file drawers and current files:

Yikes!

Actually, it looks worse than it is. I’m going to get this all cleaned up by lunchtime. Or rather, I’ll refuse to eat lunch until it’s all cleaned up.

Matt Bramanti | September 18, 2006 at 11:14 am
Posted to Business, Personal, Photos

3 comments

I was coming out of the 11th Street Border Stop — a combination gas station, convenience store, check-cashing place and taqueria near MattCo Headquarters — when I was approached by a young, smiling guy carrying a laminated list. Here’s how the conversation went down:

Guy: “Hey man, what kind of cologne you wear?”

Me: “I don’t.”

Guy: “Nothing? Well, today’s the day to start!”

Me: “Nah, that’s okay.”

Guy: “Come on, man, it’s Friday and we got the panty-droppers!”

Me: (laughing and getting into my car) “Sorry, dude, not interested.”

Guy: “Put this on, you’ll wake up tomorrow with 15 kids and child support, it’s that good.”

Heh. That made my day.

Matt Bramanti | September 15, 2006 at 12:42 pm
Posted to Humor, Out and About, Personal

2 comments

Got my phone yesterday and got it all charged up. Works like a charm, so I’m back in modern life.

It sucked not having a phone for a couple days, but from a customer-service perspective, it was a pretty good experience. Got the phone via FedEx when I was supposed to, and it worked beautifully. Verizon’s customer service has always been really helpful, and I strongly recommend the company.

I didn’t want to re-enter all the contacts manually, so I used a little app by Verizon called Backup Assistant. It backs up contacts to a remote server over the air. Then when you get a new phone, or your phone gets wiped out, just install the Backup Assistant app and restore all the contacts. It worked great. Costs $1.99 a month, though.

I used it and then deleted it, because I’ve got better uses for two bucks a month.
If the application also backed up ringtones, photos and text messages, I’d gladly pay $2/month. Are you listening, Verizon?

Matt Bramanti | September 15, 2006 at 11:34 am
Posted to Personal, Tech

2 comments

St. Joseph doesn’t get a whole lot of attention, but he’s really a model of what a man should be. His story is woven into the Gospels. First, he’s a gentleman:

Now the birth of Jesus Christ was as follows: when His mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child by the Holy Spirit.

And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly.

He’s unwilling to associate himself with sin, but he will not embarrass a lady. Next, he remains open to the words of the Lord and he obeys those words:

But when he had considered this, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife; for the Child who has been conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit.

“She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.”

Now all this took place to fulfill what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet:

“BEHOLD, THE VIRGIN SHALL BE WITH CHILD AND SHALL BEAR A SON, AND THEY SHALL CALL HIS NAME IMMANUEL,” which translated means, “GOD WITH US.”

And Joseph awoke from his sleep and did as the angel of the Lord commanded him, and took Mary as his wife, but kept her a virgin until she gave birth to a Son; and he called His name Jesus.

Next, he was a law-abiding man. He lived in an occupied territory, but he respected the civil authority:

Now in those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus, that a census be taken of all the inhabited earth.

This was the first census taken while Quirinius was governor of Syria.

And everyone was on his way to register for the census, each to his own city.

Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, in order to register along with Mary, who was engaged to him, and was with child.

This proved a good example to his son, who would later say:

“Render to Caesar the things which are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.”

Joseph went to great lengths, literally, to protect his family:

So Joseph got up and took the Child and His mother while it was still night, and left for Egypt.

Next, Joseph did what was required of him by his religion:

And when the days for their purification according to the law of Moses were completed, they brought Him up to Jerusalem to present Him to the Lord (as it is written in the Law of the Lord, “EVERY firstborn MALE THAT OPENS THE WOMB SHALL BE CALLED HOLY TO THE LORD”), and to offer a sacrifice according to what was said in the Law of the Lord, “A PAIR OF TURTLEDOVES OR TWO YOUNG PIGEONS.”

As a father, he kept up the family tradition with regard to his faith:

Now His parents went to Jerusalem every year at the Feast of the Passover. And when He became twelve, they went up there according to the custom of the Feast;

Joseph was a carpenter, and he probably taught his son the trade. Other than that, we don’t know much about his work, but that’s sort of the point. He labored quietly, and the Gospels suggest that he was pretty unremarkable. Just another craftsman and small business owner, working to take care of his family:

They were saying, “Is not this Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How does He now say, ‘I have come down out of heaven’?”

Just an average Joe. He was tossed into situations way over his head — try raising the Son of God — but he kept plugging away, doing the best he could, with the grace of God. And he’s still hard at work in the real estate business.
I got thinking about this because of a prayer my mom sent me. I printed it out and hung it on my desk at work, and I say the prayer every day. Here it is:

Prayer to St. Joseph by Pope St. Pius X:

Glorious St. Joseph, model of all those who are devoted to labor, obtain for me the grace to work conscientiously, putting the call of duty above my natural inclinations;to work with gratitude and joy, considering it an honor to employ and develop, by means of labor, the gifts received from God, without recoiling before weariness or difficulties; to work, above all, with purity of intention, and with detachment from self, having always death before my eyes and the account which must render of time lost, of talents wasted, of good omitted, of vain complacency in success, so fatal to the work of God. All for Jesus, all for Mary, all after thy example, O Patriarch St, Joseph. Such shall be my watchword in life and death. Amen.

Amen. Back to work!

Matt Bramanti | September 7, 2006 at 4:23 pm
Posted to Personal, Religion

No comments yet

I’m trying to turn over a new leaf in the health department. Accordingly, I got up early today and headed to the gym.

Going to the gym isn’t exactly a new leaf; going to the gym first thing in the morning definitely is. I generally go after work, but it’s busier then, and I have to wait longer for a machine.

Anyway, I did my stretches, knocked out a half-hour of cardio while watching Fox & Friends, and topped it off with a stint in the sauna. I’m gonna have to visit the sauna more often, and bring a book. It’s really relaxing, and you feel great coming out of there.
It’s sort of like the joke where the guy smashes his thumb with thumb with a hammer over and over, and his friend says “Dude, why are you doing that?” And the guy says, “It feels so good when you stop!” The quacks at Harvard Medical School have this to say about saunas:

“All in all, saunas appear safe for the body, but there is little evidence that they have health benefits above and beyond relaxation and a feeling of well-being,” says Dr. Harvey Simon

But what the hell do they know?

Anyway, then I headed home and whipped up a smoothie (2 cups skim milk, half a pound of strawberries, a banana, half a cup of Fiber One and a scoop of Nitro-Tech). I’ve heard great things about Nitro-Tech, but it doesn’t taste too good. I’ll have to pick up some sugar-free chocolate or strawberry syrup to kill the nasty aftertaste.

Then it was off to MattCo to begin another week of adding to GDP. This week is going to be a bitch, too. I’ve got a meeting today for the St. Pius X jubilee, a roundtable at the Chron tomorrow, I have to take Diane car shopping on Wednesday, and I’ve got a pretty busy work week. Plus, this weekend I get to help Diane and her roommates move, and we have to do it fast so that we can be done by the time the Irish game comes on.

Matt Bramanti | August 28, 2006 at 12:52 pm
Posted to Personal

7 comments

I got to work this morning and sat down for another fun, thrilling day at MattCo, when my officemate said to me, “Has Michael talked to you this morning?” Michael is my boss.

I said, “No, why?”

“He needs to have a word with you.”

“About what?”

“I can’t say anymore.”

Oh, shit. This isn’t going to be good. I’m racking my brain trying to think where I screwed up, and Michael walks in to my office:

“Matt, I know you’ve been under some pressure getting these reports out lately, but I found something that I think we need to talk about.”

Shit, shit, shit. What did I screw up?

“I found some things in your desk and we might need to set up a Betty Ford thing.”

Then he opens my desk drawer and retrieves the bottles vodka, rum and a champagne he had stashed there to mess with me.

Heh.

We’re expanding our office into the vacant suite next door. Apparently, Michael was in there this morning trying to figure out the layout of the new offices, and just found all this booze under the kitchen sink in there. I think it’s a good omen.

Matt Bramanti | August 9, 2006 at 12:24 pm
Posted to Food & Drink, Friends, Humor, Personal

4 comments

Last time I checked (in April), the following countries had experienced the unbridled joy that is my blog:

That distinguished list just got a bit longer. Here’s the current MattMap:

The most significant gains were in poor, less-developed regions, like South America, sub-Saharan Africa, Eastern Europe and Detroit. Readership in Scandinavia and the Middle East grew nicely as well.

The inevitable spread continues…

Matt Bramanti | August 6, 2006 at 8:00 pm
Posted to Blogging, International, Personal

4 comments

Mattsapundit Central Comment has temporarily moved operations to Rob’s house while he and the missus are traipsing around Europe, leaving me in charge of their booze and swimming pool.

Yeah, I don’t know what they were thinking, either.

Matt Bramanti | August 3, 2006 at 12:59 pm
Posted to Friends, Out and About, Personal

6 comments

Everyone’s been talking about the “20 cool things about Houston” phenomenon, and Rob has jumped in with a post about cool things in his neighborhood. Now it’s my turn.
For purposes of this list, I’m going to define the neighborhood pretty tightly. It’s roughly a 2-mile square bound by the Katy Freeway to the north, Kirkwood to the east, Briar Forest to the south and Eldridge to the west.

Here goes:

1. Sandy’s Produce Market: It’s a health food store, salad bar and antique shop in a former K-Mart. It’s got a reat salad bar, scores and scores of different teas, and friendly people. (South side of the Katy Freeway, just east of Tully)
2. Tully Stadium: It’s pretty impressive for a high school stadium. On fall Friday nights, you can hear the bands and see the lights for quite a while around. (East side of Dairy Ashford, 1/2 mile south of the Katy Freeway)
3. Hebert’s Specialty Meats: It’s a Cajun butcher shop. You can get just about any kind of critter jammed with any kind of stuffing you can imagine. Rabbit & broccoli-cheese? No problem. Quail and eggplant? You got it. (West side of Dairy Ashford, 1/2 mile south of the Katy Freeway)
4. Spec’s Liquors: One hell of a good liquor store. It has a walk-in humidor, a very nice selection of cheeses, and of course lots and lots of booze. (South side of Memorial, just west of Dairy Ashford)
5. Glazed Over Ceramic Studio: Rob and Michelle’s business. You paint pre-made ceramic stuff, like plates, cups, figurines, etc., and the staff glazes and fires the pieces in a kiln. It’s also BYOB, so it’s got that going for it, which is nice. (Same strip center as Spec’s)
6. Taco Bell: I don’t know how they do it, but the staff there is unfailingly friendly and remarkably speedy, even at 2:00 in the morning. (Southwest corner of Memorial and Dairy Ashford)
7. Houston Shoe Hospital: In an age where nearly everything is disposable or easily replaceable, these guys fix shoes. The fact that they’ve been in business forever is a testament to how well they do it. They can make a shoe last forever, like an axe that’s gone through four handles and two heads. (West side of Dairy Ashford, just south of Memorial)
8. Memorial Athletic Club and Aquatic Center: This is a damn fine gym, with lots of everything — free weights, weight machines, cardio equipment, classes, racquetball, basketball, and two swimming pools, one of which is indoors. BONUS COOLNESS: Individual TVs at every elliptical machine, treadmill and bike. (North side of Memorial, just west of Dairy Ashford)
9. La Hacienda Mexican Restaurant: This place is an absolute insitution. It’s been serving up the same decent Tex-Mex for well over 30 years. They’ve got a hilarious lounge singer, too.
10. Leibman’s Food & Wine: An excellent gourmet food store. They’ve got beer and wine, too. The whole place is full of stuff you can’t get anywhere else, including several pre-made dishes daily. (South side of Memorial, about 3/10 mile east of Dairy Ashford)
11. Los Tios Mexican Restaurant: Another institution, though this one doesn’t show its age as much as LaHa. It has a cool cantina off to the side. BONUS COOLNESS: My mom used to be a waitress in that cantina. (West side of Kirkwood, just north of Memorial)
12. Moscow: A little Russian grocery store with a deli counter, strong Baltika beer and matryoska nesting dolls that look like Nikita Khrushchev. You can get Penthouse in Russian, too. (Southwest corner of Memorial and Kirkwood)
13. Ace Hardware City: It had a better hometown feel in its old location, but now this hardware store has a bigger selection in a nicer building. This is where I get all my Christmas-lighting needs.
14. Memorial Citgo: This place has been filling and fixing Bramanti cars since I was in Huggies. Sandy Theocharidis runs a real service station. It used to be Thornhill Texaco, but was recently renovated and rebranded. Sandy and his guys are honest and they charge a fair price. (North side of Memorial, 1/4 mile west of Dairy Ashford)
15. Ashford Arms: This is my bar. The crowd is mostly regulars, though the occasional British or Irish expatriate comes in. They have free food most nights (hot dogs, stew or pizza) until it runs out, which it always does. Ask for Filly. (Southwest corner of Dairy Ashford and Perthshire)
16. Cafe Rita: A little hole-in-the-wall Lebanese place. George and Rita are friendly as can be, and the dude could sell ice to an eskimo. (“Just try a little bit…”) Great beef shawarma and baba gahnouj. (Same strip center as the Ashford Arms)
17. Randalls: I love grocery stores, and this is the best one in the neighborhood. Clean, huge, upscale. True, H-E-B is cheaper, but it’s a big pile of crap. Yeah, Kroger is a one-minute walk from my living room, but the Kroger Co. thinks I should ring up my own groceries. Randalls forever. (Wraps the northwest corner of Memorial and Dairy Ashford)
18. St. John Vianney Catholic Church: This has been my parish since I was maybe 3. I don’t go to Mass much there anymore (Diane and I go to the Chapel of St. Basil at the University of St. Thomas), but it’s still my home parish, and I’m there pretty frequently for Knights of Columbus events. (Nottingham Oaks, just south of Memorial)
19. Becks Prime. They make a damn good hamburger and the richest shakes you’ve ever had. The location is nice, too — tucked away in some trees. Swordfish sandwiches, too. (East side of Dairy Ashford, just south of the Katy Freeway)
20. The Katy Freeway: Studded with every form of development imaginable, this ribbon of concrete streches from Los Angeles to Jacksonville, Fla. When the current expansion is done, it’ll be 18 lanes wide.

Matt Bramanti | August 1, 2006 at 9:53 pm
Posted to Home, Houston, Out and About, Personal

8 comments

George Brown is a lobbyist for the liquor industry in the state of Louisiana. He convinced the legislature of that fine state to include the following in its open-container law:

“Open alcoholic beverage container” shall not mean any bottle, can, or other receptacle that contains any amount of frozen alcoholic beverage unless the lid is removed or a straw protrudes through the lid.

That’s right: daiquiris are effectively exempt from the open-container law. Excellent. So, on the way to Paducah, I stopped off at my favorite daiquiri joint in the whole wide world: The Geaux Cup.

Hell yeah.
The Geaux Cup is a little A-frame building just off Interstate 10 in Crowley, La. In addition to being the seat of Acadia Parish, Crowley is also the Rice Capital of America and the home of my good buddy Mary (aka Clotille). The Cup is renowned for the breadth of its menu, which features literally scores of frozen beverages, including — I am not making this up — the “Jet Fuel” and the “Fuck-Up.”

Wow.

I went with a Lime Kamakazi in a big ol’ Styrofoam up. Then I hit the road:

I love Louisiana.

Fast-forward a few hundred miles, and I came across this sign, pointing me to Cooter, Mo.:

Holland is nice, but…

Then I went to Graceland:

I have done it all.

Graceland was closed, probably because I got there at about midnight on a Thursday. Oh well.

Matt Bramanti | June 26, 2006 at 3:41 am
Posted to Food & Drink, Out and About, Personal, Photos, Travel

2 comments

Like many people, I jot down lots of notes throughout the day. In my case, I use Post-Its, which are stuck in a row right in front of my computer keyboard.

I was cleaning them off, and I realized that they were just scraps of thoughts. Here today, gone tomorrow. In many cases, I don’t even remember what the note was supposed to mean. I wrote it down long enough to do something with it.

Here are some of the things I found important enough to write down:

• Smokey Bones
• 8/1980
• BCC everyone
• 4/3/06 79.12
• in ETJ of Pflugerville
• 6am-4pm
• $20 pig
• R Lexington

I know what some of these mean. Others I don’t.

Matt Bramanti | June 14, 2006 at 12:29 am
Posted to Overanalysis, Personal

7 comments

Besides the standard numbers everyone carries around (girlfriend, mom, bookie), I’ve got a few reference numbers that come in handy on a daily basis:

• Free411 (800-373-3411): Just what it sounds like — free nationwide directory assistance. Every once in a while, you’ll have to listen to a short commercial before getting your listing. Interesting business model — if you’re looking for a business, Free411 will serve you an ad for that business’ competitor, and you can press ”1″ to be connected to the advertised competitor.
• 411Metro (800-411-6387): Same thing, less catchy name.
• Auburn Information (334-844-4244): The Foy Student Union at Auburn University. It’s the information line, where you’d call for campus schedules and things like that. Except there’s a tradition at Auburn of answering any question that a caller comes up with. It’s like having your own talking Google machine.
• TellMe (800-555-8366): This is a voice-driven service that offers the same sort of information you’d find on a portal like Yahoo — sports scores, news headlines, weather forecasts, stock quotes and the like. A cool feature is the ability to flag favorites that can be recalled whenever you call back from the same phone number. You can even play blackjack against a Sean Connery sound-alike.
• U.S. Naval Observatory (202-762-1401): This is the official time of the United States, as determined by a phalanx of atomic clocks.
• Audioblogger (415-816-0205): This service allows users to post audio messages to Blogger blogs. You can even jury-rig a WordPress conduit.
• The White House (202-456-1414): I’ve never called the president, but it doesn’t hurt to have his number in the cell. That way, if he calls in the middle of the night, it’ll show up as “President,” giving me precious extra seconds to sober up.

I also use a number of services via SMS text messages:

• Google SMS (text 46645): Send a text message to Google to retrieve quick snippets of information. I frequently use this to get phone numbers by listing type and area (“pizza 77079″).
• Houston Transtar Alerts: Sign up to get text messages from Transtar whenever there’s a major traffic problem on one of Houston’s freeways. This happens about a million times a day, so you can narrow down the alerts you want to receive by day, time, route and type. I get the Katy Freeway from 7-9 a.m. and 6-7 p.m.
• Yahoo Alerts: You can get text-messaged alerts on anything from sports teams to Amber Alerts to low airfares. I get the weather every morning.
• Verizon TXT Alerts: Same idea as Yahoo Alerts, but with a broader array of niches, many co-branded (Maxim, CNN, WaPo).
• Facebook Mobile: Takes the social-networking site and puts it in my pants.

In addition to these, why not get familiar with the rest of the N11 family? Here’s what’s available from my phone (a Verizon line in the 713 area code):

• 211: Community services, state benefits, etc.
• 311: City of Houston services
• 411: Directory assistance
• 511: Nothing
• 611: Verizon customer service
• 711: Relay Texas (allows relay calls to the deaf)
• 811: Service to locate underground utility conduits
• 911: Houston emergency services (Good friggin’ luck)

Then there are the toll-free customer service numbers that are nearly impossible to find.

• Amazon.com: 800-201-7575
• eBay: 800-322-9266
• PayPal: 888-221-1161

Got any more useful numbers? Leave ‘em in the comments.

Matt Bramanti | May 28, 2006 at 12:29 am
Posted to Out and About, Personal, Tech

3 comments

EDITOR’S NOTE: This post marks the first appearance of a guestblogger — the lovely and talented Diane Heilmann. Go easy on her, folks, or she’ll take it out on me.

Hello everybody.  I’ve never blogged before, so I must admit that I’m a bit intimidated at the thought of having an audience.  Matt and I are watching Saving Private Ryan right now.  I guess if I’m going to write anything for a bunch of people to read, I’d like to thank everyone who ever has or is currently serving our country in the military.  You have my utmost respect and appreciation.  I admire your bravery and willingness to dedicate your lives to making life better for fellow Americans and people abroad.  You are all in my thoughts and prayers.  I hope everyone is having a good memorial weekend, and please keep in mind the people this holiday was made to honor. 

Diane Heilmann | May 27, 2006 at 7:33 pm
Posted to Movies, Personal

3 comments

What a day. Took the dogs for a walk, made some breakfast, and then I pulled a Peter Gibbons:

I would relax, I would sit on my ass all day, I would do nothing.

That’s not exactly true. I didn’t do nothing. I sat around in various locations: by the pool, in front of the TV, in front of the computer.

Also, I have noticed something interesting. Despite my relative lack of blogging over the past couple of days, the world continues to function pretty well. Carry on.

Matt Bramanti | May 27, 2006 at 5:48 pm
Posted to Personal

3 comments

This weekend, Mattsapundit Central Command is being temporarily relocated to my boss’ house. I’m watching his house, kids, dogs and other assorted chattel while he’s on a golfing jaunt in Louisiana.

Sweet.

Tonight, I’m watching a movie. Tomorrow, while my coworkers are busy appraising property all across the Bayou City, I’ll be sprawled out on a lounge chair by the pool with a cocktail in my hand. Accordingly, blogging and email will be very light over the next couple of days while I live the sweet life.

Tomorrow’s forecast: Partly cloudy, 89 degrees.

Sweet.

Matt Bramanti | May 25, 2006 at 9:52 pm
Posted to Out and About, Personal

No comments yet

Most of my readers haven’t had the pleasure of meeting my girlfriend Diane (aka “RedZilla”), and I’m sure some of them think she’s a figment of my imagination. Well she’s not, dammit; she’s real! Here she is:

At Mardi Gras in New Orleans. She’s the one in red.

Showing off her new haircut.

At the boardwalk in Kemah.

At my office.

At the beach in Galveston.

King Kong vs. RedZilla

At the zoo.

At The Redhead Piano Bar in Chicago

So there you have it, folks. She’s real. Now quit hassling me about it.

Matt Bramanti | May 15, 2006 at 1:10 pm
Posted to Friends, Personal, Photos

9 comments

(UPDATED with new pictures, 11:22 a.m. on 5/15/06)

Please join me in welcoming the newest member to the Mattsapundit team.

Barry Tapwater, Mattsapundit Fishbowl Bureau Chief

The Mattsapundit Fishbowl Bureau: One gallon of top-notch content.

His name is Barry Tapwater, and he’s a Betta fish. Barry was hired at Petco after a brief interview process. His areas of expertise include kicking the shit out of other fish, and bubbles.

For now, Barry will be retained in a purely advisory role in the Mattsapundit Fishbowl Bureau; he will not be blogging, as his species has neither thumbs nor higher brain function.

Welcome aboard, Barry!

Matt Bramanti | May 11, 2006 at 2:59 pm
Posted to Blogging, Friends, Home, Personal

7 comments

I really, really like Kevin Whited. He’s a brilliant guy, a hell of a local blogger, and he knows cool places to drink and listen to 80s covers.

That’s why I was so disappointed when he cast a voodoo curse on me.

You see, Dr. Whited is a Continental Airlines partisan, whereas I always fly The Company Planeâ„¢. We recently exchanged comments, in which I detailed Southwest’s total and utter dominance over its tectonic counterpart. In a desperate attempt to redeem his crappy carrier, the good (witch) doctor conjured up some unholy tardiness hex against my beloved Southwest. I’ve flown four times since his demonic incantations, and every one of those flights has been late.

And so, Kevin, until karma evens out this little disturbance, may your stewardesses be surly and your luggage bound for Ouagodougou.

Matt Bramanti | May 10, 2006 at 10:26 am
Posted to Out and About, Personal, Travel

4 comments