Mattsapundit

Put on your Fisking caps, kids. This AP dispatch is just plain goofy:

The United States has detained more than 83,000 foreigners in the four years of the war on terror, enough to nearly fill the NFL’s largest stadium.

Split infinitive aside, what’s with that comparison? Why use a football stadium? Why not say “laid end to end, they would reach from New York to Mecca” or “Ground into a fine paste, they could pave 450 acres of parking lots?”

The number has steadily grown since the first CIA paramilitary officers touched down in Afghanistan in the fall of 2001, setting up more than 20 facilities including the “Salt Pit,” an abandoned factory outside Kabul used for CIA detention and interrogation.

What’s the matter, AP? You won’t give us the freakin’ address of the formerly-secret national security facility? And that’s just the beginning of this story, which apparently seeks to prove the monkey/typewriter hypothesis.

Some 82,400 people have been detained by the military alone in Afghanistan and Iraq, according to figures from officials in Baghdad and Washington.

Earlier, the story attributes the increase to CIA involvement. Now the reporterette is saying that the CIA is only responsible for about 600 of the 83,000 detainees. It’s likely that neither one of those explanations is correct, and they’re both symptomatic of lazy reporting and unfamiliarity with arithmetic.

The detentions and interrogations have brought complaints from Congress and human-rights groups about how the detainees – often Arab and male – are treated.

Often male and Arab? Since when do AP writers stand up for the rights of the ruling majority?

Some 82,400 people have been detained by the military alone in Afghanistan and Iraq, according to figures from officials in Baghdad and Washington. Many are freed shortly after initial questioning.To put that in context, the capacity of the Washington Redskins’ FedEx Field, the NFL’s largest, is 91,704. The second largest, Giants Stadium, holds 80,242.

To put that in further context, these guys want to blow up EVERY NFL stadium.

In Iraq, the Defense Department says 5,569 detainees have been held for more than six months, and 3,801 have been held more than a year. Some 229 have been locked up for more than two years.

I have no idea why that passage was buried deeper in the story than the capacity of Giants Stadium.

Pentagon officials say those mistreated are relatively few when the sheer numbers are considered.

Last week, Senate Armed Services Chairman John Warner, R-Va., said that more than 400 criminal investigations have been conducted and 95 military personnel have been charged with misconduct.

400 investigations out of 83,000 prisoners. That’s not “relatively few.” That’s less than one-half of one percent.

Through the CIA, a much smaller prison population is maintained secretly by the agency and friendly governments.

Was. WAS maintained secretly. Thanks, AP!

The agency consistently declines to comment.

That’s because it’s the CIA. Unlike the AP, intelligence agencies are there to protect national secrets, not spray them all over the newspapers.

Among them, Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, an alleged mastermind of the 9/11 attacks.

That one isn’t even a complete sentence.

Matt Bramanti | November 16, 2005 at 2:48 pm
Posted to International, Media, Terrorism

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The Chron’s house editorial displays a stunningly good (for the Chron editors) understanding of economics. At least at the beginning. Unfortunately, the wheels fall off near the end, when the editorial board makes its recommendation about how Big EEEEVIL Oil can best help hurricane victims:

Houston’s safety net for the neediest residents is torn and stressed — by curbs on federal and state spending and by eroded corporate giving. Now is the time for energy companies, whose profits derive from high prices that many residents can ill-afford, to meet the high post-hurricane social needs by increasing the level of their giving.

Okay, I’m listening. How, Oh Mighty Editorial Olympians, should oil companies help the downtrodden in the aftermath of Katrina?

Houston’s fine arts organizations have had to tighten their belts in recent years as corporate support declined. Some, whose loss would be calamitous for a city with global ambitions, are struggling to survive. Flush energy companies have an opportunity to make up lost ground through endowments and operational funding. One way would be to subsidize the museum, theater and concert attendance of low-income families, whose members are in sore need of the inspiration and catharsis the fine arts supply.

Are these guys freaking kidding? Just about everything in that paragraph is dead wrong. Let’s analyze it, sentence by sentence:

Houston’s fine arts organizations have had to tighten their belts in recent years as corporate support declined.

That’s crap. As the Chronicle reported in February, the Museum of Fine Arts got the biggest donation ever made to an art museum. Meanwhile, the Houston Grand Opera described its latest fundraising campaign as a “stunning success.”

Some, whose loss would be calamitous for a city with global ambitions, are struggling to survive.

I guess the editors got tired of the phrase “world-class.”

Flush energy companies have an opportunity to make up lost ground through endowments and operational funding.

They already do that, more than any other industry. Take a look at the donor list of any arts instutition, and its a veritable Who’s Who of the Houston energy sector.

One way would be to subsidize the museum, theater and concert attendance of low-income families, whose members are in sore need of the inspiration and catharsis the fine arts supply.

How out of touch can you get? Find a low-income family who fled to Houston from Hurricane Katrina, and ask them what they need to get back on their feet. I’ll bet you dollars to doughnuts that artistic catharsis doesn’t crack the Top 100.

Matt Bramanti | November 11, 2005 at 1:51 pm
Posted to Business, Media

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I’m dumbfounded:

Don’t let the antics of the pathetically delusional Mary Mapes distract you from the lunatics who haven’t yet been canned from the network that gave us both the tinfoil-hat–wearing Walter Cronkite and the propagandizing buffoon known simply as the Dan. NewsBusters reports on a milestone in tastelessness achieved by Bruce Rheins, the producer behind CBS’s coverage of the Michael Jackson trial, who has marketed a wine under the brand “Jesus Juice.” The logo apparently represents a cross between Jesus Christ and Michael Jackson.

As you’ll recall, “Jesus Juice” is allegedly what the King of Pop called the wine he plied little kids with before raping them.

Rheins’ wife got the marketing campaign running while Jackson’s child molestation case was still in court. They made Jesus Juice t-shirts and other items too. As NewsBusters observes:

Rheins’s marketing of Jesus Juice wine (and apparel) raises some troubling journalistic issues since he was attempting to profit from a story which he was personally covering for the “CBS Evening News.”

Matt Bramanti | November 11, 2005 at 11:08 am
Posted to Business, Media, Scumbags

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Jack Kelly over at Irish Pennants nails it:

CNN’s Carol Linn is an idiotShe described the two Muslim teenagers whose accidental electrocution Oct. 27th ignited the rioting in France as “African-Americans.”

“It’s been 11 days since two African-American teenagers were killed, electrocuted during a police chase, which prompted all of this.”–CNN anchorman Carol Lin, Nov. 6

Note to CNN: Words mean things. Write that down.

Matt Bramanti | November 10, 2005 at 3:13 am
Posted to International, Islamofascism, Media, Stupidity

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Heaven knows that Mattsapundit personnel rip on the Chronicle now and then, but we also like to point out when they get something right, and this is one of those times.

In a business piece about oil company profits, our beloved hometown rag provided a pretty good balance:

Exxon Mobil Corp. alone rang up a $9.9 billion profit. Whether Exxon and its competitors will be able to persuade the public their earnings aren’t really so huge remains to be seen.

“You make nearly $10 billion in a quarter, and you’re making more than number of Fortune 500 companies put together,” noted Ed Rothschild, a longtime energy industry critic in Washington.

The story then turns to Exxon Mobil’s point:

For their part, the oil companies have been trying to make the case their earnings aren’t out of line.Exxon Mobil has taken out ads in major daily newspapers comparing oil and gas company earnings with other sectors. An ad headline “Oil and Apples,” features a chart that shows pharmaceutical companies, banks, software firms and tobacco giants all earning more pennies on the dollar than energy companies.

The ad shows energy companies earning 7.7 cents per dollar of revenue, and Exxon Mobil 8.6 cents, versus 7.9 cents for U.S. industry overall. With “a true ‘apples to apples’ evaluation — you see that oil earnings are not out of step with other major industries,” the ad reads.

How about that?

Matt Bramanti | November 3, 2005 at 3:36 pm
Posted to Business, Houston, Media, National

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New York Times columnistette Maureen Dowd was quite pissy and lonely this weekend, as evidenced by her 5,000-word essay lamenting the fact that women are picking femininity over feminism. You know how emotional broads can be.

Matt Drudge, of flashy police light fame, responds with a MoDo caption contest. I’m stealing it and posting it here:

“You know what they say about guys with big feet…”

Leave your suggestions in the comments. Also, feel free to speculate on her cocktail of choice.

Matt Bramanti | November 1, 2005 at 12:24 pm
Posted to Media, Photos, Politics

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At least that’s what Cragg Hines thinks. In today’s column, the Chron political columnist tries to paint Supreme Court nominee Sam Alito as a far-right-wing wacko, while slapping the president’s supporters with the same brush:

IF you like machine guns, you’ll love Sam Alito.

Nice to know we’re starting off with a good, healthy dose of rabid fear-mongering.

In upholding a restrictive Pennsylvania abortion law in 1991, even the increasingly conservative 3rd Circuit refused to go along with one of the legislatively approved provisions: to require a woman to notify her spouse, in almost all instances, before an abortion. To emphasize his position, Alito wrote a dissent to spell out his approval of the spousal-notice section.The Supreme Court said on review that the provision would impermissibly give a man “the kind of dominion over his wife that parents exercise over their children.”

So, all you women who want to be ordered about like the kids, sit down right now and urge your senator to get aboard the Alito bandwagon.

But what’s that compared to a president’s need to restore his political health with about the only constituency that’s sticking with him amid a mounting death toll in Iraq, an energy crisis and the indictment of Republican chums Tom DeLay and Scooter Libby?

Got that? 43% of American adults are machine-gun-toting, spouse-stomping extremists. Probably racist, sexist, homophobic evangelical Christian supremicists, too. But at least those 43% don’t print ethnic slurs in major metropolitan newspapers:

Alito, a rock star to conservatives who scuttled Bush’s nomination of Harriet Miers, is so in the mold of Justice Antonin Scalia, Bush’s archetype of a supposedly strict-constructionist justice, that he’s known as “Scalito” � little Scalia or Scalia lite.

Matt Bramanti | November 1, 2005 at 11:00 am
Posted to Humor, Media

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As I’ve been reporting over the past couple months, Chron editor Jeff Cohen has been dodging questions from his customers. When I asked Chron reader representative James T. Campbell about it, he had this to say:

Well, since agreeing to do it, we’ve had two hurricanes and a World Series. I know he was close to finishing the questions I submitted to him but he got sidetracked by work.

I’ve got news for you, James: Keeping up good, honest relations with the people who keep you in business is work. It’s certainly part of your job, and Cohen ought to consider it a big part of his job, too. It’s not incredibly convincing to say “Gee, news got in the way.”

It’s just bad business to promise something to your customers and fail to deliver. Besides, it’s not like the questions were all that hard. Here’s a smattering of the readers’ inquiries:

• Why doesn’t the Chronicle have an on staff convervative columnist to balance liberal Casey?
• why is it that the water level of the main river is never posted? Rio Grande River!!
• Why is it that the majority of business stories are AP/syndicated and not about Houston or written by Chronicle writers?
• Why don’t you have someone in Iraq covering the war? Seems like a pretty Big Story.

See, those aren’t too tough. Not a single math question in there.

CORRECTION: The original headline misidentified Cohen as the Chron’s publisher. Cohen is actually the editor and executive vice president. The real big enchilada is publisher Jack Sweeney. Sorry ’bout that, and thanks to Evil D. for setting me straight.

Matt Bramanti | October 31, 2005 at 2:22 pm
Posted to Business, Houston, Media

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This was pretty good. On Hannity and Colmes last night, Sean Hannity was talking with Rep. Maurice Hinchey (D-NY):

HANNITY: I’m listening to what you’re saying. So you’re saying when the President told the nation that Saddam’s nuclear threats are a real grave danger to America and Saddam’s WMDs are a threat to America, you’re saying that George W. Bush purposely lied to America? Is that what you’re saying? 

HINCHEY: I’m saying whoever wrote that speech gave false information to the Congress. Whether or not the President knew it when he gave the speech, I’m not sure. Whoever wrote that speech certainly did.

HANNITY: The only problem is, Congressman, the words I just said to you were John Kerry’s words. John Kerry said that to America. You voted for John Kerry. Now I’ll ask you, did John Kerry give false information to America?

HINCHEY: John Kerry, I think, made a mistake and voted for the resolution —

HANNITY: Oh, he made a mistake and Bush is a liar.

Heh. NRO’s got the video.

Matt Bramanti | October 26, 2005 at 11:00 am
Posted to Media, Politics, Video

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Michelle Malkin points out what is either a tacky or incompetent photo editing job. An AP photo of Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is normal, but USA Today’s version gives her really weird eyes:

 

Real Condi.

EEEVIL Condi.

Matt Bramanti | October 26, 2005 at 10:49 am
Posted to Bizarre, Media, National, Photos, Politics

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Do behave, 007:

Daniel Craig will have a problem playing the new James Bond – because he hates guns.

The actor will wield 007’s famous Walther PPK in the movie Casino Royale.

But he revealed in OK! magazine: “I hate handguns. Handguns are used to shoot people and as long as they are around, people will shoot each other.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the only stupid thing to appear in this story. You see, the reporter is also a complete moron:

Nor does the 37-year-old share Bond’s love of Martinis shaken and stirred.

Congratulations, Evening Standard. You just screwed up one of the most famous lines in cinematic history:

Shaken, not stirred.

NOT stirred! NOT STIRRED!! By the way, Bond-style martinis are good for you. Take two and call me in the morning.

Matt Bramanti | October 25, 2005 at 1:35 pm
Posted to Media, Movies, Stupidity

1 comment

What schedule is the Chronicle sports department looking at?

Oklahoma’s Adrian Peterson’s ailing right ankle is improving, and he should be ready to go this week against Iowa State.

Oklahoma plays Nebraska this week (and doesn’t play Iowa State at all this season). Iowa State plays Texas A&M.

Houston is the largest city in Big 12 territory, and its only major newspaper screwed up the schedules for a third of the conference. Nice work, Chron.

[Hat-tip: Ashley the Aggie]

Matt Bramanti | October 25, 2005 at 11:23 am
Posted to Houston, Media, Sports, Stupidity

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Publicity stunt, Qaeda-style:

At least two enormous bombs, including a cement-mixing truck packed with explosives, blew up near an Iraqi police checkpoint outside the Palestine Hotel — home to many foreign journalists in Iraq. Iraqi police said 11 people were killed and 13 wounded. 

A second bomb exploded inside a car not far from the checkpoint on the northeast side of Firdous Square and more than 100 yards east of the hotel grounds. Both were believed to be suicide attacks.

It did not appear that anybody was killed inside the hotel. Three of the wounded were in the hotel but were not hurt seriously. Three others were at a U.S. military checkpoint at the northwest corner of the hotel compound.

Maybe this will piss off enough reporters that they’ll issue some honest reports about global jihad. And maybe I’ll be nominated to the Supreme Court.

Matt Bramanti | October 24, 2005 at 11:19 am
Posted to International, Islamofascism, Media, Terrorism

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