Mattsapundit

I was coming out of the 11th Street Border Stop — a combination gas station, convenience store, check-cashing place and taqueria near MattCo Headquarters — when I was approached by a young, smiling guy carrying a laminated list. Here’s how the conversation went down:

Guy: “Hey man, what kind of cologne you wear?”

Me: “I don’t.”

Guy: “Nothing? Well, today’s the day to start!”

Me: “Nah, that’s okay.”

Guy: “Come on, man, it’s Friday and we got the panty-droppers!”

Me: (laughing and getting into my car) “Sorry, dude, not interested.”

Guy: “Put this on, you’ll wake up tomorrow with 15 kids and child support, it’s that good.”

Heh. That made my day.

Matt Bramanti | September 15, 2006 at 12:42 pm
Posted to Humor,Out and About,Personal

2 comments

Check out this video. Four dudes, eight treadmills and “Here It Goes Again” by OK Go.

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Matt Bramanti | September 12, 2006 at 9:44 am
Posted to Humor,Music,Video

1 comment

I got to work this morning and sat down for another fun, thrilling day at MattCo, when my officemate said to me, “Has Michael talked to you this morning?” Michael is my boss.

I said, “No, why?”

“He needs to have a word with you.”

“About what?”

“I can’t say anymore.”

Oh, shit. This isn’t going to be good. I’m racking my brain trying to think where I screwed up, and Michael walks in to my office:

“Matt, I know you’ve been under some pressure getting these reports out lately, but I found something that I think we need to talk about.”

Shit, shit, shit. What did I screw up?

“I found some things in your desk and we might need to set up a Betty Ford thing.”

Then he opens my desk drawer and retrieves the bottles vodka, rum and a champagne he had stashed there to mess with me.

Heh.

We’re expanding our office into the vacant suite next door. Apparently, Michael was in there this morning trying to figure out the layout of the new offices, and just found all this booze under the kitchen sink in there. I think it’s a good omen.

Matt Bramanti | August 9, 2006 at 12:24 pm
Posted to Food & Drink,Friends,Humor,Personal

4 comments

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Matt Bramanti | July 14, 2006 at 9:02 am
Posted to Bizarre,Humor,International,Politics,Video

3 comments

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Matt Bramanti | July 5, 2006 at 11:28 am
Posted to Bizarre,Humor,Media,TV,Video

1 comment

This is the funniest thing I have seen this week:

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Matt Bramanti | June 28, 2006 at 5:18 pm
Posted to Bizarre,Humor,Music,National,Video

2 comments

The continuing adventures of A.C. Slater, episodes 1-4

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Matt Bramanti | June 27, 2006 at 5:38 pm
Posted to Bizarre,Humor,Stupidity,TV,Video

1 comment

I’ve noticed an uptick in people looking for the FedEx “Wrong” commercial. Here it is, folks:

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Matt Bramanti | June 6, 2006 at 5:14 pm
Posted to Business,Humor,Video

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Per Iceman’s request, here’s the video for “Sabotage” by the Beastie Boys:

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Matt Bramanti | June 6, 2006 at 12:44 pm
Posted to Humor,Music,Video

1 comment

Reno 911 is the funniest show on television. Here’s a clip of the deputies’ “Support the Police” video:

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Matt Bramanti | June 5, 2006 at 10:24 am
Posted to Humor,TV,Video

1 comment

Yeah, it’s another commercial with buttoned-down white dudes rocking out. Deal with it:

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Matt Bramanti | June 1, 2006 at 12:43 am
Posted to Business,Humor,Music,Video

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I had this song stuck in my head yesterday. As MeMo pointed out, it’s Lumbajac:

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Matt Bramanti | May 31, 2006 at 1:23 pm
Posted to Business,Humor,Music,Video

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Watching — and making — fake movie trailers is rapidly becoming America’s national pastime. Here’s the best one I’ve seen to date:

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Matt Bramanti | May 23, 2006 at 7:17 am
Posted to Culture,Humor,Movies,Video

1 comment

You have spoken, and I have listened. Ladies and gentlemen, here is the Soul Glo commercial from Coming to America.

Matt Bramanti | May 4, 2006 at 10:52 pm
Posted to Humor,Movies,Video

3 comments

A priest and a rabbi are having lunch, and the rabbi asks the priest if he could be promoted. Priest says “Yes, I could be elevated to bishop.”

Rabbi says, “Then what?”

Priest says, “Well, the Holy Father could make me a cardinal.”

Rabbi says, “Then what?”

Priest says, “I suppose I could be elected Pope.”

Rabbi says, “Then what?”

Priest says, “That’s as high as it goes. It’s not like I could get promoted to Messiah.”

Rabbi says, “One of our boys made it.”

Matt Bramanti | April 27, 2006 at 4:14 pm
Posted to Humor,Religion

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I laughed my ass off:

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Matt Bramanti | April 20, 2006 at 12:38 pm
Posted to Humor,Video

3 comments

From SportsPickle‘s “breaking news” ticker:

Duke lacrosse attorney: DNA shows accuser is a lying whore

Heh.

Matt Bramanti | April 12, 2006 at 4:55 am
Posted to Crime,Humor,Sports

No comments yet

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Matt Bramanti | April 12, 2006 at 3:01 am
Posted to Humor,Islamofascism,Media,Terrorism,Video

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Over at MedBlog, the Chron‘s Leigh Hopper put out a call:

The poultry industry is already trying to spin the issue. One of my colleagues said he saw TV ads that said “Avian Influenza: It’s not in your food.”

I say it’s high time we take control of the situation and lighten it up with good bumperstickers. Can you beat these, from my editor?

Can I beat those? Please. I can beat ‘em like a redheaded stepchild. Here’s my entry:

Matt Bramanti | April 3, 2006 at 10:50 am
Posted to Humor

1 comment

This is just plain funny.

Matt Bramanti | March 29, 2006 at 12:41 pm
Posted to Humor,Video

No comments yet