The other day, I opened the door of Mattsapundit Central Command to find a package:

Everything about this box screamed “DO NOT OPEN ME,” from the recycled label to the return address:

All of a sudden, I was struck with panic, thinking of all the times I’ve [1] ripped on the Chronicle. Did James Howard Gibbons finally snap? Is it a horse’s head from Cragg Hines? Did Jeff Cohen ship himself to my front door?

Against my better judgement, I carefully opened the box:

To my horror, I discovered a terribly contagious virus capable of crippling even the toughest immune system:

Yup, it’s a [2] stuffed rhinovirus from GiantMicrobes, and it’s cute as a button. It turns out my brazen attacker is none other than Chron medical writer Leigh Hopper, who awarded the pathogen as part of her [3] bird flu bumper sticker contest.

Thanks, Leigh!