Self-checkout and the decline of Western Civilization
Time for another grocery store bitch. Wes and I were at Kroger tonight, buying essential supplies for tomorrow’s St. Patrick’s Day party. It was late (11:00 p.m.) or so, and no checkout lanes were open. None. Instead, we had to use the U-Scan self-checkout machines.
I can’t stand those damn things.
I should qualify that. They’re actually pretty convenient when I’m in a hurry, and I just want a Coke or a dozen eggs or something. But when I’ve got a cart full of stuff, I don’t want to check out my own groceries. I don’t want to search for barcodes, I don’t want to weigh fruit, and I don’t want to feed currency into a slot one bill at a time.
One of the problems is usability. After you scan each item, you’re instructed by the maddening feminine voice to “please place the item into the bag.” The bags — flimsy plastic only — are on racks mounted on a big scale. Apparently the weight of each item is programmed into the system as a theft-prevention measure, so some scumbag doesn’t pay for a candy bar and walk off with two cases of Pabst. The problem is that when you have a whole lot of groceries, you run out of room. You try to take one of the full bags off to make more room, and the maddening voice tells you to “place the item back in the bag.”
But my main beef with the damn things is much broader: It’s not my freakin’ job. I already have a job. I get up in the morning and I work very hard at my job. When I go to spend the money I made at my job, I don’t want to do someone else’s job. There’s a reason the good Lord made pizza-faced 16-year-olds, and that reason is so that I don’t have to run a six-pack over a laser grid 17 times.
Some of you might find my anti-U-Scan position at odds with my nature as a free marketeer. After all, Kroger is just trying to make a buck, so what’s wrong with that? Not a thing. The company is certainly free to conduct its business however it wants. But so am I, and that’s why I usually shop at Randalls, where they have real live people to ring up my groceries. Imagine that!
I also have a problem with it on a larger level. Society-wide, the notion of customer service has been slipping because we, the consuming public, have allowed it to slip. Sixty years ago, I bet the notion of routinely pumping your own gas was pretty foreign. Nowadays, it’s pretty rare to even find a full-service pump. In fact, the assholes responsible for the U-Scan monstrosity admit their inspiration, in part, came from the decline in gas station service:
Based on their acceptance of ATMs and pay-at-the-pump fueling, “customers show they are willing to use self-service technology,” says Jim Mueller, director of information technology for Shnuck Markets. “The technology is now more secure and reliable and customers feel comfortable guiding themselves through the checkout process.”
Bullshit.
Posted to Out and About, Reviews, Business, Overanalysis, Culture, Personal
Bullshit is absolutely what it is. What annoys me about the self-serve trend is that people seem to have lost sight of the concept of value. What something costs is not the only factor I use when determining what I want to buy. The value that item has for me is a critical factor.
For example, I’d much rather pay $50 for a pair of pants that will last me for 3 years and fit wonderfully than $20 for a pair that I’ll wear for 6 months and only fit marginally well. There is value in the customer service I receive from a LIVE HUMAN BEING and merchants seem to have forgotten that.
If you don’t like the hassle, just call in your order.
The groceries are reviving the home delivery service. Email or fax your order (must exceed a minimum), and authorize payment with your debit or credit card, arrange a delivery time. You may need to learn to appropriately tip the delivery person, it’s not like blowing off the pizza delivery kid.
Central Market (HEB) are much better than Kroger
self serve scanners. They don’t require one to scan
your item across the yellow pad , and only ask once
that you put your crap in the bag.
Sometimes I’d rather have the personal relationship
of customer and clerk.
And when I’m horny, I tell the female clerk my name
is Matt Bramanti, and I’m sure to get laid later that evening. Works every time, thanks Matt.
Glad it works.
Self-scanning is American progress at its finest. I prefer it, and I know lots of other people do to.
Money that the grocery store doesn’t pay to employees to check me out is money that goes into my pocket in the long run through lower prices.
Fair enough, Evan. It’s definitely a trade-off, like in any industry: price vs. service. I’ll gladly pay 5% more if it means I don’t have to punch numbers from a tomato label.
But even for people who like the self-scan machines, you’ve gotta admit there are drawbacks. The biggest, in my opinion, is the stupid scale. The device freezes up unless all the bagged groceries are on there at once, and the scale is way too small for even a moderate-sized shopping trip.
Hey, just found your site. Pretty cool, linked from the Chronicle’s site, because I couldn’t have agreed more with some of your statements to that strange bird, David Mathews. What rock does he live under, anyway? Unfortunately, I’m too pressed for time to read your whole blog, but it’s obviously good stuff. And your take on Kroger? As a mother of a voraciously hungry teenage who averages three trips a week to Kroger, I couldn’t agree more. Too bad we don’t have better HEB around here. I refuse to go to the mall for many of the same reasons - the complete lack of decent customer service. They used to teach that when you got your first job. Now they must teach them how to avoid answering any questions at all.
Good luck with this site, it’s good.