The Army has released captured Al Qaeda documents revealing the complex administration of the global terror network, including a nice salary and benefits package for the mujahideen. First, the salary:
B- Married individuals:
1- Authorize for them a basic monthly salary of 6,500 Rupees.
2- The sum of 300 Rupees is added per child.
3- Add the sum of 700 Rupees per wife in case of multi-wives.
4- Approve a 10% annual increment of the basic salary for cost of living increase.
Pretty sweet raise structure. These guys can keep up with the property taxes on their caves. By the way, the exchange rate is about 60 Pakistani rupees to the dollar, and per capita GDP (on a purchasing power parity basis) is about $2,400. Next, travel benefits:
2- Tickets
A- The married man whose family is in his own country will be treated like a bachelor in respect to salary but will be given an air ticket home annually.
If you use your free ticket, but then hijack the plane, do you get another ticket? And how do you account for it on your income taxes? Is it income, or a reimbursed employee expense, or what? I digress. Now we come to medical care:
A- All (Al-Qa’eda) members can visit the medical staff and obtain medicine free of charge.
I don’t know if I want to be in Dr. Jihad’s waiting room, considering the Islamic world has yet to develop chairs. I’d rather go out of network:
B- In the event the treatment is unfeasible and medicine is unavailable in Al-Qa’eda warehouse, the member will be paid the costs if more than 100 Rupees, conditional the treatment takes place in Peshawar.
I’m not sure about being treated in “Al-Qa’eda warehouse,” but at least the deductible is low. But if you still can’t find good treatment, there’s also a loan policy:
The administration grants a general loan for urgent need not to exceed 10,000 Rupees. The loan is deducted from salary over one year period.
And of course, it’s interest-free in accordance with Islamic banking customs. And when the stresses of jihad take their toll, why not kick back for a little R&R?
8- Vacations:
A- For those who work in Peshawar, they are entitled for Fridays, the two holy feasts (TC: Al-Adha [during the pilgrimage month] & Al-Fatr [following the end of the month of Ramadan]), and a one month annual leave to be enjoyed at the end of the eleventh month of work, as well sick leave not to exceed 15 days annually.
Fridays off, a month vacation, and two weeks of sick leave? Wow! Pretty sweet, considering these are the rear-echelon guys. But that’s nothing compared to the real cheesecake:
B- Those working in camps and in the frontlines:
Married: Enjoys a 7 day monthly vacation.
Single: Enjoys a 5 day monthly vacation
Is that seven days per wife? The organization even has a nice severance package, but who would want to quit a job with benefits like these?
If the administration dismissed any person, at least a one-month notice should be given to the dismissed party. If the person is to be dismissed soonest possible, then he will be paid a one month additional compensation.
Wow. Those negotiators at the International Beheaders Union sure drive a hard bargain. It’s interesting to note one thing, though: as crazy as these fanatical wackos are, there’s no defined-benefit pension plan. After all, they’re crazy, not stupid.
