Mattsapundit

I don’t get too much traffic on this site. Very little, as you can see by the abysmally low hit counter on the right sidebar. And much of the traffic I do get seems to come from journalists Googling their own names.

Like ex-Chron transportation reporter Lucas Wall, (or someone else at the Boston Globe), who found Mattsapundit twice in 10 minutes.

Then there’s Chron Austin bureau chief Clay Robison (or someone else at the Chron), who found Mattsapundit twice in 15 minutes.

Also, someone at the Albuquerque Technical Vocational Institute searched for James Howard Gibbons. Maybe our favorite Editorial LiveJournalist is brushing up on his metal shop skills?

But, as per usual, the most common queries fall into a single category. To wit: sluts, both from the demand and supply sides:

sluts for hire (10x)

hookers for hire (3x)

we hire sluts (2x)

big brother sluts (2x)

lawyer sluts

san francisco sluts

The rest of them are absolutely random. Here’s a smattering.

marilyn monroe- death by poison enema

nazi aerial camouflage patterns

sesame street - pics of homosexual roger

and my personal favorite:

make my day pope button

I don’t even know what that last one means, but I’m picturing Clint Eastwood in a zucchetto.

Matt Bramanti | May 31, 2005 at 7:28 pm
Posted to Tech, Bizarre, Humor, Blogging

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The first point of the Scout Law isn’t ambiguous at all:

A Scout is Trustworthy.

I’ve been involved with Scouting since I was six years old, and I’ve always had a strong faith in the Scouting movement. That’s why it’s so disappointing to see this apparent lapse in judgement on the part of Atlanta-area Scout officials:

An independent investigation of the Atlanta-area Boy Scouts found that the organization inflated its number of black Scouts by more than 5,000 in a program for inner-city youth.

The executive director of the Atlanta Boy Scouts resigned after the report was released.

The audit found that former Scouts too old to participate remained on the memberships lists and that boys who had only attended informational meetings about the program were signed up.

In one example, an official changed the birth date of 87 Cub Scouts so they would be old enough to participate in the program. In another case, an official continued to report membership of a church Boy Scout unit although the church had burned down three years earlier.

The inflated numbers also included 200 Scout units that did not exist.

That said, it’s heartening to see the response by Scouting officials at the state level, who quickly commissioned this audit in order to get to the bottom of this. The Boy Scouts of America is an organization that’s done wonders for millions of boys, and I’d hate to see its reputation sullied by a handful of bad apples.

Matt Bramanti | May 31, 2005 at 2:45 pm
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Put this one in the ever-expanding “Idiot Parents” file:

A mother faces criminal charges after she hired a stripper to dance at her 16-year-old son’s birthday party.

Anette Pharris, 34, has been indicted by a grand jury on charges of contributing to the delinquency of a minor and involving a minor in obscene acts. The boy’s father, the stripper and two others also face charges.

“I tried to do something special for my son,” Pharris said. “It didn’t harm him.”

Gee, who could have expected that a single mother who gets knocked up at 17 could be so irresponsible? Oh yeah, everyone.

Now take a look at how this meathead got pinched:

Anette Pharris took photos at the party and tried to have them developed at a nearby drug store. Drug store employees notified authorities, police said.

Yeah, that’ll happen when you drop photographic evidence of a crime right into someone’s lap. In the interest of fairness, let’s hear from Ms. Pharris:

“Who are they to tell me what I can and can’t show to my own children?” the mother said.

Translation: “Next year I’m getting him a hooker.”

[Hat-tip: Van Smack]

Matt Bramanti | May 31, 2005 at 1:51 pm
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Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but my mama taught me not to skip out on reservations or engagements without cancelling ahead of time. It’s in bad taste and flat-out rude.

Especially if you skip out on a reservation for eighteen people. And if you’re a former president:

When the owner of one of Rome’s most fashionable restaurants received a booking from Bill Clinton and his entourage, he was happy to clear the tables and order in his best food and wine.

But Romeo Caraccio was left furious after the former president of the United States and his party failed to show up without bothering to cancel their reservation.

Yesterday, a waiter at the restaurant said: “We had a call from one of his security team making the reservation and then a visit to check out the place.

“It was all confirmed and the boss even ordered in more food and wine - he spent an extra £1,000, but he [Clinton] never turned up.

T-A-C-K-Y. Speaking of bad taste, check out this quote:

Last night, a US embassy spokeswoman in Rome confirmed that the booking had been made, but said it was not a matter for the embassy.

“I can confirm that Mr Clinton was due to eat at the restaurant.

“However, he had to pull out and was not able to attend. I don’t know why; he is a private citizen,” the spokesman said.

Had to pull out unexpectedly with an embarrassing result, huh? Yep, that’s our Bill.

Matt Bramanti | May 25, 2005 at 2:26 am
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What’s the best use for three acres of land between the West Loop and Newcastle, just south of Westpark? What’s that? You didn’t say “government-subsidized dog crap depository?”

Commissioner Steve Radack looks at a tract of undeveloped land near the West Loop and envisions dogs chasing each other around fake hydrants and splashing in a man-made pond.

Bill Wolf, a consultant hired by a nursery near the site, worries that customers would think twice about coming to his client’s business because of odors emanating from the canine playground.

Radack is moving forward with plans to design and build within two months a three-acre dog park on a strip of land owned by the Metropolitan Transit Authority, between Newcastle and the West Loop just south of Westpark.

Wolf contends — rightly, in my opinion — that huge, steaming heaps of digested Alpo are a detriment to nearby commerce. Radack’s response?

“I can’t believe that someone who wants to do business in this town is standing in the way of a dog park,” Radack fumed Monday.

What does that mean? Is Radack suggesting that consumers will put Wolf out of business because of his opposition to the turd farm? Or is it some sort of veiled threat? More from Commissioner Radack, from the Transparency in Government file:

Radack said county commissioners often create parks and should not be required to hold public hearings on each proposed site.

“I don’t need any public input on a dog park. I know how popular they are,” he said. “I’m going to build that dog park. I don’t really care what Lincoln Property has to say. I don’t care what Bill Wolf has to say.”

Wow. It’s not uncommon for local politicians to become entrenched and refuse to listen to public opinion. But it’s not often that you hear them say “I don’t need any public input…” I don’t have anything against the guy personally. But when he says
things like this, it looks like he’s just blowing off the public.

Or maybe he’s just looking to again etch his legacy in the hallowed pages of Dog Fancy.

Matt Bramanti | May 24, 2005 at 11:36 pm
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Excuse me while I whip this out:

The suspicious object that jammed traffic Monday on Interstate 75 and Daniels Parkway was not an explosive pipe bomb, according to the Lee County Sheriff’s Office — it was a prosthetic penis.

There’s no word yet on whether the device — found on the side of Daniels under the northbound I-75 overpass — was designed to serve medical or recreational needs.

The Whizzinator strikes back?

Deputies arrived and alerted the bomb squad, which used a robot to disable the cylinder.

Hey, I just thought of a great treatment for sex offenders: cylinder-disabling robots.

[Hat-tip: Drudge and LST tipster Jaime]

Matt Bramanti | May 24, 2005 at 5:54 pm
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