May 31, 2005

More fun with search engines

I don’t get too much traffic on this site. Very little, as you can see by the abysmally low hit counter on the right sidebar. And much of the traffic I do get seems to come from journalists Googling their own names.

Like ex-Chron transportation reporter Lucas Wall, (or someone else at the Boston Globe), who found Mattsapundit twice in 10 minutes.

Then there’s Chron Austin bureau chief Clay Robison (or someone else at the Chron), who found Mattsapundit twice in 15 minutes.

Also, someone at the Albuquerque Technical Vocational Institute searched for James Howard Gibbons. Maybe our favorite Editorial LiveJournalist is brushing up on his metal shop skills?

But, as per usual, the most common queries fall into a single category. To wit: sluts, both from the demand and supply sides:

sluts for hire (10x)

hookers for hire (3x)

we hire sluts (2x)

big brother sluts (2x)

lawyer sluts

san francisco sluts

The rest of them are absolutely random. Here’s a smattering.

marilyn monroe- death by poison enema

nazi aerial camouflage patterns

sesame street – pics of homosexual roger

and my personal favorite:

make my day pope button

I don’t even know what that last one means, but I’m picturing Clint Eastwood in a zucchetto.


Report: Atlanta Scouts fudged numbers

The first point of the Scout Law isn’t ambiguous at all:

A Scout is Trustworthy.

I’ve been involved with Scouting since I was six years old, and I’ve always had a strong faith in the Scouting movement. That’s why it’s so disappointing to see this apparent lapse in judgement on the part of Atlanta-area Scout officials:

An independent investigation of the Atlanta-area Boy Scouts found that the organization inflated its number of black Scouts by more than 5,000 in a program for inner-city youth.

The executive director of the Atlanta Boy Scouts resigned after the report was released.

The audit found that former Scouts too old to participate remained on the memberships lists and that boys who had only attended informational meetings about the program were signed up.

In one example, an official changed the birth date of 87 Cub Scouts so they would be old enough to participate in the program. In another case, an official continued to report membership of a church Boy Scout unit although the church had burned down three years earlier.

The inflated numbers also included 200 Scout units that did not exist.

That said, it’s heartening to see the response by Scouting officials at the state level, who quickly commissioned this audit in order to get to the bottom of this. The Boy Scouts of America is an organization that’s done wonders for millions of boys, and I’d hate to see its reputation sullied by a handful of bad apples.


Mom hires stripper for 16-year-old son

Put this one in the ever-expanding “Idiot Parents” file:

A mother faces criminal charges after she hired a stripper to dance at her 16-year-old son’s birthday party.

Anette Pharris, 34, has been indicted by a grand jury on charges of contributing to the delinquency of a minor and involving a minor in obscene acts. The boy’s father, the stripper and two others also face charges.

“I tried to do something special for my son,” Pharris said. “It didn’t harm him.”

Gee, who could have expected that a single mother who gets knocked up at 17 could be so irresponsible? Oh yeah, everyone.

Now take a look at how this meathead got pinched:

Anette Pharris took photos at the party and tried to have them developed at a nearby drug store. Drug store employees notified authorities, police said.

Yeah, that’ll happen when you drop photographic evidence of a crime right into someone’s lap. In the interest of fairness, let’s hear from Ms. Pharris:

“Who are they to tell me what I can and can’t show to my own children?” the mother said.

Translation: “Next year I’m getting him a hooker.”

[Hat-tip: Van Smack]


May 25, 2005

Hail to the tacky jerk

Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but my mama taught me not to skip out on reservations or engagements without cancelling ahead of time. It’s in bad taste and flat-out rude.

Especially if you skip out on a reservation for eighteen people. And if you’re a former president:

When the owner of one of Rome’s most fashionable restaurants received a booking from Bill Clinton and his entourage, he was happy to clear the tables and order in his best food and wine.

But Romeo Caraccio was left furious after the former president of the United States and his party failed to show up without bothering to cancel their reservation.

Yesterday, a waiter at the restaurant said: “We had a call from one of his security team making the reservation and then a visit to check out the place.

It was all confirmed and the boss even ordered in more food and wine – he spent an extra £1,000, but he [Clinton] never turned up.

T-A-C-K-Y. Speaking of bad taste, check out this quote:

Last night, a US embassy spokeswoman in Rome confirmed that the booking had been made, but said it was not a matter for the embassy.

“I can confirm that Mr Clinton was due to eat at the restaurant.

“However, he had to pull out and was not able to attend. I don’t know why; he is a private citizen,” the spokesman said.

Had to pull out unexpectedly with an embarrassing result, huh? Yep, that’s our Bill.


May 24, 2005

Radack: Damn the poop, full speed ahead!

What’s the best use for three acres of land between the West Loop and Newcastle, just south of Westpark? What’s that? You didn’t say “government-subsidized dog crap depository?”

Commissioner Steve Radack looks at a tract of undeveloped land near the West Loop and envisions dogs chasing each other around fake hydrants and splashing in a man-made pond.

Bill Wolf, a consultant hired by a nursery near the site, worries that customers would think twice about coming to his client’s business because of odors emanating from the canine playground.

Radack is moving forward with plans to design and build within two months a three-acre dog park on a strip of land owned by the Metropolitan Transit Authority, between Newcastle and the West Loop just south of Westpark.

Wolf contends — rightly, in my opinion — that huge, steaming heaps of digested Alpo are a detriment to nearby commerce. Radack’s response?

“I can’t believe that someone who wants to do business in this town is standing in the way of a dog park,” Radack fumed Monday.

What does that mean? Is Radack suggesting that consumers will put Wolf out of business because of his opposition to the turd farm? Or is it some sort of veiled threat? More from Commissioner Radack, from the Transparency in Government file:

Radack said county commissioners often create parks and should not be required to hold public hearings on each proposed site.

“I don’t need any public input on a dog park. I know how popular they are,” he said. “I’m going to build that dog park. I don’t really care what Lincoln Property has to say. I don’t care what Bill Wolf has to say.”

Wow. It’s not uncommon for local politicians to become entrenched and refuse to listen to public opinion. But it’s not often that you hear them say “I don’t need any public input…” I don’t have anything against the guy personally. But when he says
things like this, it looks like he’s just blowing off the public.

Or maybe he’s just looking to again etch his legacy in the hallowed pages of Dog Fancy.


Prosthetic penis shuts down interstate

Excuse me while I whip this out:

The suspicious object that jammed traffic Monday on Interstate 75 and Daniels Parkway was not an explosive pipe bomb, according to the Lee County Sheriff’s Office — it was a prosthetic penis.

There’s no word yet on whether the device — found on the side of Daniels under the northbound I-75 overpass — was designed to serve medical or recreational needs.

The Whizzinator strikes back?

Deputies arrived and alerted the bomb squad, which used a robot to disable the cylinder.

Hey, I just thought of a great treatment for sex offenders: cylinder-disabling robots.

[Hat-tip: Drudge and LST tipster Jaime]


FBI asks Congress for new subpoena power

Generally, I’m a supporter of the Patriot Act, but I think this is taking it a bit too far:

The FBI on Tuesday asked the U.S. Congress for sweeping new powers to seize business or private records, ranging from medical information to book purchases, to investigate terrorism without first securing approval from a judge.

Forgive me for being quaint, but let’s give this one the Ron Paul treatment. The Fourth Amendment reads:

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.


Survey reveals public perception of media

A survey released by the Annenberg Public Policy Center at the University of Pennsylvania shows an enormous disconnect between journalists’ perceptions of themselves and average Americans’ perception of journalists:

As in most previous surveys of journalists, a high number called themselves politically “moderate” (49%), with 31% describing themselves as “liberal” and just 9% as “conservative.”

Forty-eight% of the public but only 11% of journalists said news organizations were “often inaccurate.” When serious mistakes are made, 74% of the journalists said news organizations quickly report the error, but only 30% of the public said they do. In the public, 24% said news organizations try to ignore errors and 41% said they try to cover them up.

Survey organizers acknowledged that the journalists polled, with a median of 23 years of experience, was distinctly more liberal than the public in general, measured by a separate poll of 1,500 adults. Thirty-one percent of those in the journalists’ sample called themselves liberal, 49% said they were moderates and just 9% said they were conservatives. In the public generally, 24% said they were liberal, 33% moderate, and 38% conservative.

Innnnnnteresting.


Which ‘Star Wars’ character are you?

Now that gasoline-soaked lightsaber play is out, I know that you need your Star Wars fix. Fear not, gentle reader! Now you too can discover your Star Wars personality! I got this one:

han_solo.jpg
Fast ship? You’ve never heard of the Millennium Falcon?

Just click on the pic to launch the test.


Star Wars geeks hurt in lightsaber mishap

We all knew it was going to happen. Some Star Wars freak was going to do some really stupid Star Wars-related stunt, and people were going to end up badly injured. Well, here it is:

Two Star Wars fans are in a critical condition in hospital after apparently trying to make light sabres by filling fluorescent light tubes with petrol.

That’s gasoline, for those of you in Rio Linda.

A man, aged 20, and a girl of 17 are believed to have been filming a mock duel when they poured fuel into two glass tubes and lit it.The pair were rushed to hospital after one of the devices exploded in woodland at Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire.

Stick to the plastic lightsabers, kids.


Kerry claims to have signed Form 180

According to Sen. John Kerry, the KerryWatch may soon be at an end:

During an interview yesterday with Globe editorial writers and columnists, the former Democratic presidential nominee was asked if had signed Form SF 180, authorizing the Department of Defense to grant access to all his military records.

”I have signed it,” Kerry said. Then, he added that his staff was ‘’still going through it” and ”very, very shortly, you will have a chance to see it.”

Well, maybe not. You see, the Senator’s staff is apparently scouring Washington for a postage stamp:

Several e-mails later, [Kerry communications director David] Wade conveyed the following information: On Friday, May 20, Kerry obtained a copy of Form 180 and signed it. ”The next step is to send it to the Navy, which will happen in the next few days. The Navy will then send out the records,” e-mailed Wade. Kerry first said he would sign Form 180 when pressed by Tim Russert during a Jan. 30 appearance on ”Meet the Press.”

Sen. Kerry, if you’re reading this, I’ll be happy to pick up the cost of a FedEx First Overnight envelope. That Form 180 could be in the Navy’s hands by 8:00 tomorrow morning!


May 23, 2005

Longtime Chron veteran dies at 73

I never met this guy, but he sounds like a good, solid man:

Patrick Claude Terry, 73, a Houston Chronicle news editor who never missed a day of work in his 37-year career, died Friday.

Terry was a member of St. Cyril of Alexander Catholic Church, where he served as a funeral liturgist and Eucharistic minister. He was a 20-year member of the American Legion and a retired member of the Knights of Columbus Post 1234. Terry also was active as a coach, manager and executive in the Sharpstown and Voss Little Leagues and was a children’s mentor at Walnut Bend Elementary School.

Terry is survived by his wife of 42 years, Marlene Lee Sheffer Terry, four sons and three daughters-in-law, Brian and Colleen Terry; Mark and Dee-Dee Terry; Paul and Carolina Terry; and Todd Terry.

Veteran, diligent worker, churchgoer, brother Knight, family man and volunteer. We should all mourn the passing of people like this.


What the hell is the matter with you sick bastards?

I was looking at the server logs again and noticed something else. Y’all have bizarre taste in news product. Several of you found my site by running the following Google searches:

sluts for hire

self administered alcohol enema blog

These aren’t as shocking as you might think. They’re actually referring to stories about a “Whore College” and a woman who killed her husband with a sherry enema. However, there were a few other searches that came up with the same results, though I suspect the intentions were much, much different:

hookers for hire houston texas

painful enema recipes

Those sound like they were entered for… um… recreational purposes. And the most disgusting, shameless search of all:

huffington

Yuck!


FBI busts bomb seller in Houston sting

Yikes:

A 68-year-old Pennsylvania man was arrested on charges he tried to build a bomb and sell it to an agent he thought was a member of Al-Qaeda, officials said Monday.

Ronald Allen Grecula of Bangor, Pa., was arrested Friday in Houston during a meeting with undercover FBI agents, U.S. Attorney Michael Shelby said. During that meeting, Grecula indicated willingness to build and sell an explosive device that was to be used against Americans, officials alleged in court documents.

By the way, a quick Google search reveals that a Ronald Allen Grecula is suspected of kidnapping his children and fleeing the country. If this is the same 68-year-old Ronald Allen Grecula from Pennsylvania, it will be interesting to learn how he got back into the country.


Russian lake vanishes, resident blames U.S.

No wonder the Russkies drink vodka: Uncle Sam is stealing all their water!

A Russian village was left baffled Thursday after its lake disappeared overnight.

NTV television showed pictures of a giant muddy hole bathed in summer sun, while fishermen from the village of Bolotnikovo looked on disconsolately.

Officials in Nizhegorodskaya region, on the Volga river east of Moscow, said water in the lake might have been sucked down into an underground water-course or cave system, but some villagers had more sinister explanations.

“I am thinking, well, America has finally got to us,” said one old woman, as she sat on the ground outside her house.

Reports indicate that the lake is being airlifted to Camp David, where Chimpy Bushitler will bathe his toes in the cool, pilfered water while laughing evilly.


Your tax dollars at work: Viagra for rapists

What do you get when you commit sex offenses against a two-year-old child?

Free Viagra from the government:

Scores of convicted rapists and other high-risk sex offenders in New York have been getting Viagra paid by Medicaid for the last five years, the state’s comptroller said Sunday.

Audits by Comptroller Alan Hevesi’s office showed that between January 2000 and March 2005, 198 sex offenders in New York received Medicaid-reimbursed Viagra after their convictions. Those included crimes against children as young as 2 years old, he said.

Hevesi asked Michael Leavitt, secretary of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, in a letter Sunday to “take immediate action to ensure that sex offenders do not receive erectile dysfunction medication paid for by taxpayers.”

In other shocking news, I actually agree with Chuck Schumer on something:

Sen Schumer said: “It is just mind-boggling to think that Level 3 sexual offenders can get Viagra, which may indeed help them perpetrate other horrible crimes.

“And what we know about Level 3 offenders is this: They almost never change. They’re almost never rehabilitated.”

And yet, they’re routinely released.


Supreme Court bans shackles on defendants

Remember Brian Nichols? He’s the guy who killed a judge, a court reporter and a sheriff’s deputy during an Atlanta courtroom rampage, then killed a federal agent during his escape.

It’s going to happen again, courtesy of your Supreme Court:

The Supreme Court ruled today that it is unconstitutional to force capital murder defendants to appear before juries in chains and shackles.

Justices, on a 7-2 vote, threw out the conviction of Carman Deck, who was shackled in leg irons and handcuffed to a chain around his belly when he faced a Missouri jury that put him on death row.

The high court had already held that people on trial can be shackled only if prosecutors have a strong argument for it.

Apparently “this guy kills people” isn’t a strong enough argument for restraining a murderer.

Today’s decision involves sentencing hearings in capital murder cases.

Justice Stephen Breyer, writing for the court, said that shackling indicates to juries “that court authorities consider the offender a danger to the community.”

Yeah, Breyer, that’s the point. The offender is a danger to the community. That’s why he was investigated, arrested, searched, jailed, arraigned, subject to pre-trial hearings, tried and convicted.


Chron’s Gibbons: Give molesters jobs!

James Howard Gibbons uses today’s “Sounding Board” to discuss his service as a juror in a child molestation case. He talks about his influence in ensuring the conviction of a child molester, and I’m sincerely grateful for that influence. Unfortunately, it looks like Gibbons recounts the story so that we won’t judge him harshly for his proposals to go soft on sexual predators:

Recently several readers have written to the editorial board to ask if the Chronicle favored the adoption by Texas of Florida’s “Jessica Lunsford Act,” to be applied in cases such as the kidnapping and murder of Lunsford by convicted sex offender John E. Couey. The act mandates a sentence of 25 years to life. Upon release, sex offenders would have to wear a satellite locator.The question is flawed in this respect: Anyone convicted in Texas of kidnapping and murdering a child would receive either the death penalty or life in prison with the possibility of parole after 40 years. The Jessica Lunsford Act doesn’t apply to murderers and, were it in effect, probably would not have prevented Couey from killing after his release.

Now, that’s just being dishonest, Gibbons. No one is suggesting that we release kidnappers and murderers, and slap a tracking device on them. What we want to do is throw these violent, deviant scumbags in the clink for a few decades before they kill. Then, if they’re ever released, they’re tracked via satellite and given very tough scrutiny wherever they go.

As for the argument that the law “probably would not have prevented Couey from killing,” how can you possibly know that? The guy tried to molest a girl in 1991. By my calculations, if the Jessica Law had been in effect, that dirtball wouldn’t be eligible for release until 2016. Yes, maybe he would strike again upon his release (if he were ever released), but at least society would be granted a quarter-century reprieve from this monster. Now, back to Gibbons:

As for those who molest or behave indecently with a child, flexible sentencing offers several advantages, despite the heinous and sickening nature of the crimes.

This ought to be good. Let’s look at the “advantages” of releasing murderous perverts into society:

First, without plea bargaining, every defendant would go to trial. In most cases, the young victim would have to endure the trauma of having to appear in court and relive the horrible crime done to her. Having witnessed such an ordeal, I can attest that sparing a child from it is worth some years shaved off a sentence.

And having witnessed the fact that these evil people commit their crimes over and over and over, I can attest that they must be stopped.

Those who view the world in terms of black and white can be forgiven for wanting to send every sex offender to prison and throw away the key.

Hey, it’s nice to know I can be forgiven! I didn’t even realize I’d done anything wrong. But here’s the grand prize:

Also, in cases in which a father molests his child, a long prison sentence would prevent him from contributing to the child’s support, education and medical treatment.

Let me get this straight. Gibbons presumably wants these child-raping bastards to get decent jobs, so that they can pay child support. That would require the monsters’ full re-integration into society. As it is now, no one wants to hire a child molester. They’ve committed unspeakable crimes against society, and society has responded by banishing them.

But in Gibbons World, we welcome the child molesters with open arms, giving them well-paying jobs, so they can contribute to the welfare of their children. You know, the ones they raped.

Yeah, that’ll work.


May 18, 2005

Trump unveils new WTC design

Donald Trump has weighed in on the design of the Freedom Tower, a 1,776-foot building intended to replace the World Trade Center’s twin towers:

“It’s the worst pile of crap architecture I’ve ever seen in my life.”

Of course, Trump is being his usual self-aggrandizing himself. But he’s absolutely right. The Freedom Tower flat-out sucks. Here’s his proposed design:

new_wtc.jpg
Nice.

I must say, I’m impressed. I just assumed it would be an 1,800-foot statue of The Donald. That said, I’m skeptical that Manhattan can absorb another 8 million square feet of office space. But time will tell.


Palestinian TV plugs Muslim world rule

Sheik Ibrahim Mudeiris appeared on official Palestinian Authority television (yes, they’ve learned to control electricity). His sermon was…well, read it for yourself:

We have ruled the world before, and by Allah, the day will come when we will rule the entire world again. The day will come when we will rule America. The day will come when we will rule Britain and the entire world – except for the Jews. The Jews will not enjoy a life of tranquility under our rule, because they are treacherous by nature, as they have been throughout history. The day will come when everything will be relieved of the Jews – even the stones and trees which were harmed by them. Listen to the Prophet Muhammad, who tells you about the evil end that awaits Jews. The stones and trees will want the Muslims to finish off every Jew.

Forgive me if I’m skeptical about being conquered by these tactics:

rockthrowing.jpg
Yes, that’s a Merkava tank. Yes, they’re trying to take it out with rocks.

[Hat-tip: Little Green Footballs]


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