Mattsapundit

Taking a cue from Houston city leaders, Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez is going Commie:

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez on Friday embraced socialism as his ideology of choice in a political statement that sharpened his antagonism against the United States.

Chavez, a firebrand nationalist who has governed the world’s No. 5 oil exporter for six years, has persistently declined to define the precise ideology of his self-styled “revolution.”

Chavez, who won a referendum in August ratifying his rule until early 2007, said previous experiences of socialism in the world — an apparent reference to the former Soviet Union — might not be the example to follow.

“We have to invent the socialism of the 21st century,” he added.

Ah, the socialism of the future. I can see it now. Gulags with wireless Internet. Government-issued (and monitored) cell phones. Flying cars and gasoline rationing. Let’s just call it Hammer & Sickle 2.0!

Matt Bramanti | February 25, 2005 at 4:53 pm
Posted to International, Politics

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The Matrix is everywhere.

Matt Bramanti | February 25, 2005 at 4:26 pm
Posted to Movies, National, Photos, Politics

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So much for that “in sickness and in health” vow:

A judge gave Terri Schiavo’s husband permission to remove the brain-damaged woman’s feeding tube in three weeks, handing him a victory in his effort to carry out what he says were his wife’s wishes not to be kept alive artificially.

The ruling by Pinellas Circuit Court Judge George Greer will allow the husband, Michael Schiavo, to order the tube removed at 1 p.m. on March 18. In the meantime, the woman’s parents, who want her kept alive, are expected to ask another court to block the order from taking effect.

The judge wrote that he was no longer comfortable granting delays in the long-running family feud, which has been going on for nearly seven years and has been waged in every level of Florida’s court system. He said the case must end.

A judge, whose job it is to administer justice, will let this woman slowly starve to death because he’s not comfortable.

I was torn on this issue until recently, because the news accounts portray Terri as a completely brain-dead vegetable, totally unresponsive to the world around her. You get the impression that she has no cognitive function, and that keeping her alive would almost be cruel. Well, watch these videos, then see if you can justify Terri’s death sentence.

Matt Bramanti | February 25, 2005 at 3:54 pm
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As I’ve said before, His Holiness is one tough hombre, but he’s not doing so hot:

Pope John Paul II was expected to undergo a tracheotomy today to help his breathing, according to Italian news agencies.The news agencies ANSA and Apcom said doctors would perform a tracheotomy — a procedure in which a hole is made in the throat and a tube is inserted, Associated Press reported.

All we can do is pray.

UPDATE: Some medical experts are saying the pope may have bacterial pneumonia:

“It appears the pope is suffering from pneumonia, likely a bacterial pneumonia, a serious problem for a man of his age with Parkinson’s,” said Dr Barbara Paris, chairwoman of geriatrics and vice-chairwoman of Medicine at Maimonides Medical Centre in New York.

UPDATE: The half-hour surgery has been completed:

AGI said surgeons at Rome’s Gemelli hospital had performed a tracheotomy on the Pontiff, cutting a small opening into his neck and windpipe to allow air to flow directly into the lungs.It said the operation lasted 30 minutes, without citing any sources. There was no immediate comment from the Vatican but Church officials said a statement was due shortly.

UPDATE: The pope’s surgery was successful:

The Vatican issued a statement saying doctors at the Gemelli Polyclinic operated successfully on the pope after he gave his consent and that he will spend the night in his own room and not in intensive care.The procedure, in which a hole is made in the throat and a tube is inserted, was performed to help the pontiff with his breathing. It is not seen as threatening and usually is left in for two or three days. The Vatican said the pope’s tracheotomy took 30 minutes and was finished “in a positive way.”

Matt Bramanti | February 24, 2005 at 3:08 pm
Posted to International, Medicine, Religion

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This is no good:

At least three people were shot when a man with a high-powered rifle opened fire in the town square near the courthouse Thursday, a U.S. Marshal said.

It was unclear how many people were killed.

“He had a rifle, and he was shooting at the back of the courthouse and he shot some glass out, shot a deputy sheriff there and two other civilians,” said Deputy U.S. Marshal John Walker.

One report indicated that the gunman was shot after fleeing in his pickup truck. Let’s hope he’s not on the loose.

UPDATE: Got’em.

Matt Bramanti | February 24, 2005 at 2:47 pm
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The “What’s in Hunter S. Thompson’s Bloodstream?” Contest is over. I spoke with Dr. Steve Ayers, the very cordial and helpful Pitkin County coroner, who told me:

“I did not order toxicology tests on Hunter Thompson. Cause and manner of death are the same: self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head, so I did not even do toxicology.”

Sounds reasonable to me, but I guess we’ll never know what chemicals were floating around in that addled brain. But hey, at least now I have the cell phone number of the Pitkin County coroner. You never know when that could come in handy.

However, we do have a winner: Jason. His entry was:

I’ll play the odds and say “nothing”. They won’t find ANY substances.

He’s right. They won’t find anything. Congrats, Jason! Email me to collect your winnings.

Matt Bramanti | February 23, 2005 at 9:51 pm
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Ward Churchill, the anti-American wacko who called compared the 9/11 victims to the Nazis, admitted yesterday he’s a lying scumbag:

“Is he an Indian? Do we really care?” he said, quoting those he called his “white Republican” critics.”Let’s cut to the chase; I am not,” he said.

His pedigree is “not important,” Churchill said: “The issue is the substance of what is said.”

Nonsense. When you’ve built your career on your pedigree, it’s important when that pedigree turns out to be a complete and utter falsehood.

Matt Bramanti | February 23, 2005 at 4:32 pm
Posted to Moonbats, National, Politics, Scumbags

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After losing 16 astronauts in fiery Shuttle disasters, NASA is going to give the Space Shuttle another shot:

NASA set May 15 for the first space shuttle launch since the Columbia disaster two years ago.

While considerable work remains before Discovery’s test flight, ”this date feels real good to me,” launch director Mike Leinbach said.

“Feels real good”?! Well, that’s a relief. As long as it “feels real good,” we shouldn’t worry about little things like the shuttle’s miserable safety record and lack of an escape mechanism.

NASA’s top space flight official, former astronaut Bill Readdy, said the biggest challenge is to complete all the paperwork not only for Discovery but also for Atlantis, the shuttle that would attempt a rescue mission in mid-June if there were serious launch damage to Discovery.

Shouldn’t the biggest challenge be, oh I don’t know, not incinerating our astronauts?

Let’s compare the Shuttle to its predecessor, the Saturn V rocket.

Safety: Shuttle crew members have no way of evacuating the vehicle in case of an emergency. NASA’s only plan to bring the astronauts back from a damaged shuttle is to launch a rescue mission a month later. The Saturn V had a launch escape subsystem, allowing the crew to ditch the rocket during or after launch if something went wrong. Catastrophic failures killed 16 astronauts on Challenger and Columbia. Three astronauts were killed when their capsule caught fire during a pre-flight test for the Apollo 1 mission.

Cost: The shuttle program has cost $112 billion since its first flight. The Apollo missions cost a total of about $70 billion in today’s dollars.

Results: The Apollo missions put a dozen men on the moon and returned them safely to earth. And while they were up there, they did fun, manly things, like play golf, drive cars, and plant Old Glory. The crew of Columbia died after lugging a mirror and a can of dirt into the heavens. They also brought an ant farm, to study how ants behave in zero gravity. (Answer: they float.)

We can do better than the Space Shuttle. We used to.

Matt Bramanti | February 21, 2005 at 4:06 am
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My money’s on Johnnie Walker and peyote.

Hunter S. Thompson is dead by his own hand:

Hunter S. Thompson, the acerbic counterculture writer who popularized a new form of fictional journalism in books like “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas,” fatally shot himself Sunday night at his Aspen-area home, his son said. He was 67.

“Hunter prized his privacy and we ask that his friends and admirers respect that privacy as well as that of his family,” Juan Thompson said in a statement released to the Aspen Daily News.

Pitkin County Sheriff officials confirmed to The Associated Press that Thompson had died of an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound. Thompson’s wife, Anita, was not home at the time.

I can’t say I’m too surprised. After all, this is the same guy who said:

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.

In that vein, I’d like to announce the Mattsapundit “What’s in Hunter S. Thompson’s Bloodstream?” Contest. Toxicology reports from Dr. Thompson’s autopsy should be released in the next few weeks. But who can wait? Readers, email me your best guess on what substances the Pitkin County coroner will discover lurking in Thompson’s body.

The most accurate forecast will win an autographed* copy of whatever Thompson book I can find at Half Price Books.

*by me.

Update: The customers are putting their chemical forecasting skills to good use.

Peter says:

Whiskey and cocaine…although there may be an LSD molecule chasing around his last brain cell like Pac-Man.

Ryan guesses:

I can say with 100% certainty that Hunter S. Thompson had either psilocybe magic mushrooms or LSD in his system when he killed himself.

Confidence: I like it. Clotille opines:

Mescaline and toad sweat.

Creativity: I like that too. My old buddy Wes says:

Quaaludes, an 8-ball of heroin, and Benadryl. And Robitussin too.

Yikes. Next up is Bobby:

I’m betting grain alcohol and good old fashioned Mescaline.

Buddy tosses his $.02, and throws in some flattery to boot:

I’m thinking marijuana and alcohol for sure. Probably cocaine as well as it is known to cause suicidal depression. Great site, it has become my favorite.

Mike guesses:

Same thing as Hank Williams, Elvis, Hemingway, Limbaugh and not that many years ago the president.

Andre’s take:

In no particular order: Alcohol, Xanax, Vicodin, MarijuanaLooking forward to my half price book!

Justin adds:

Crown and Coke (as in cocaine, not the stuff in the red cans). And
probably some OTC flu meds since that stuff’s going around.

Clark opines:

Alcohol . . . with it, it is very easy to get disconnected from yourself and do really crazy stuff. This would be true of heroin too (or other narcotics) but why go to the cost or trouble . . . your favorite booze at double the dosage . . . bam!

Curtis contributes:

All i have to say is that if someone close to you commits suicide i expect the same sort of contest to be held. I am sickened by your lack of sympathy and and overall respect.

I’ll take that as an entry for Jim Beam and Alka-Seltzer. At least Larry’s got a sense of humor:

For my money, I’d say it was the deadly combination of Pamabrom and Sildenafil Citrate. When taken together, one can’t figure out if he should be coming or going.

Another entry comes from Jason, who writes:

I’ll play the odds and say “nothing”. They won’t find ANY substances.

Dell dishes this up:

Yoo-Hoo and grain alcohol. Rogaine, shaken not stirred.

You people have some wild imaginations. Mike in Spring is as classy as I am about this whole thing:

Lead!

Here’s a graphical breakdown of the entries, as of Tuesday afternoon, 3:00 CST:

Keep the guesses coming!

Matt Bramanti | February 21, 2005 at 3:04 am
Posted to National, Uncategorized

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The British appear to have lost track of enough plutonium for a small nuclear arsenal:

Enough plutonium to create seven nuclear bombs has “gone missing” from Sellafield nuclear plant.

The 30kg of the nuclear material is unaccounted for following an annual audit by the British Nuclear Group (BNG) of its various plants.

The problem is believed to be a “paper loss” due to problems in the auditing process rather than any material actually disappearing from the site in Cumbria.

This should be a major cause for concern, right? RIGHT?? Maybe not, if you’re a government bureaucrat:

A BNG spokeswoman at Sellafield said: “There is always a discrepancy between the physical inventory and the book inventory.

“There is no suggestion that any material has left the site.”

Yes there is. You’re short 66 pounds of plutonium! And it gets worse. This isn’t a one-time mistake:

A spokesman for the Department of Trade and Industry said: “It is not unusual for the accounting process to indicate material unaccounted for.”

Great. Could you imagine if Enron tried to use this defense? “Oh, it’s no big deal. It is not unusual for the accounting process to indicate billions of dollars of phony business.”

Matt Bramanti | February 18, 2005 at 7:12 am
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I filled my car up with gas today, and I said to myself, “gasoline costs too much.” But our elected representatives in Austin disagree. They want to increase the gas tax every year:

House Speaker Tom Craddick said Tuesday that he wants to squeeze more money out of the state gasoline tax by allowing the tax rate, now set at 20 cents per gallon, to rise in step with some type of inflation index.

The tax, last increased in 1991, is a major revenue-raiser for highways and the public schools, but the state hasn’t cashed in on the high gasoline prices of recent years because tax revenue — which is based on quantity, not price — has been relatively flat.

Gov. Rick Perry and Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst indicated they were open to the idea.

“We haven’t increased our gas tax in years,” Dewhurst said. “We’ve got continuing challenges to put more money into our highways. We’ll take a look at it over here in the Senate.”

Spokeswoman Kathy Walt said Perry believes the proposal is an “interesting concept that … the Legislature ought to explore.”

I’d like to take this opportunity to issue an open memo to the Lieutenant Governor:

TO: Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst

FROM: Your Bosses

RE: Tax Policy

You do not have a divine right to receive more tax revenues every year than you did the year before. Now knock it off.

Matt Bramanti | February 16, 2005 at 4:03 pm
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And you thought trivia was a misuse of the public airwaves:

A British shock jock found the boundaries of the envelope last week — he broke into his boss’s house and trashed the place on-air.

Tim Shaw, DJ on the Birmingham rock station Kerrang! 105.2 FM, waited until the station’s program director, Andrew Jeffries, and his wife left their house last Thursday.

Shaw and his producer, Greg Pebble, smashed a window, sprayed obscene graffiti on the walls, kicked over furniture and then hid in a cupboard.

Watch out, Dan. That Benzion fella has a mischievous gleam in his eye.

Matt Bramanti | February 15, 2005 at 5:08 pm
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The Chronicle is once again serving as Houston’s leading stadium pimp:

And Houston, arguably the premier stadium city in the United States — besides being, by every indication, a soccer hot spot — also has a conspicuous void.

Yeah. An NHL team. Or a well-run city government. But I digress.

“The stadium’s the key,” said Chronicle soccer columnist Glenn Davis, who played for the Houston Dynamos in the mid-1980s and now does MLS play-by-play for Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban’s cable sports network. “With the right place to play, soccer has a very high ceiling in Houston. The surface has barely been scratched.”

Quoting a Chronicle columnist in a Chronicle column? Bad form.

But at least the first baby steps have been taken for MLS to gain entrée into the vibrant Houston market — and to assure Houston of a niche in professional soccer’s fold.

Note the gratuitous use of French.

Toward that end, Harris County-Houston Sports Authority head Oliver Luck has been proactive, recently forging a partnership with the Houston Independent School District to investigate a possible redevelopment of the 60-acre Delmar Stadium complex to accommodate an MLS-caliber soccer venue.

You mean we can rip off Houston’s schools and build another taxpayer-funded boondoggle at the same time? What a deal!

Reliant? The consensus is it’s a little too big and a little too costly to operate for MLS games.

A little too big? That’s an understatement. Reliant Stadium seats 69,500 fans. Average MLS attendance in 2003 was 14,898.

With a full complement of bells and whistles properly befitting the early 21st-century spectating experience, Dallas’ stadium will seat 20,000-plus — a size judged ideal for MLS games — and will be surrounded by 17 fields for use by high school and kids’ leagues.

See above comment.

“We’ve been to Mexico City to visit,” Luck said. “Every indication is that when they’re ready to make a move, Houston would be their choice.”

Gosh, if we could only be as world class as Mexico City!

Matt Bramanti | February 15, 2005 at 5:07 pm
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One thing that the Chronicle does well (besides dispatching the homeless to every intersection in town) is cover real estate news. Props to Nancy Sarnoff for pointing out Houston’s connection to the recently murdered former prime minister of Lebanon:

Rafik Hariri, the Lebanese billionaire and former prime minister who was killed in a bomb explosion on Monday, owned Houston’s tallest office tower and held a stake in another.

Hariri owned the JPMorgan Chase Tower at 600 Travis downtown through his U.S. business subsidiary Prime Asset Management.

Prime purchased the building in the late 1980s from Hines, the Houston-based realty firm that still manages the property.

Matt Bramanti | February 15, 2005 at 5:06 pm
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Here’s the latest in a very long list of reasons to be concerned about our southern border:

As Mexico’s president wages what he calls the “mother of all wars” on violent drug cartels, there is a concern that the powerful Gulf Cartel has a new weapon in its arsenal: anti-aircraft missiles.

President Fox ’s plane or commercial airlines are possible targets, as detailed in a January report by the private intelligence firm Strafors.

According to the report, 80 of the Soviet-made anti-aircraft missiles were sold on the black market in Nicaragua by a rogue member of that country’s military.

The issue of illegal immigration is about more than cheap labor or drug smuggling. It’s a clear threat to the security of American citizens. If these missiles can fall into the hands of drug runners, who’s to say some enterprising al-Qaeda thug couldn’t get his mitts on one?

Matt Bramanti | February 15, 2005 at 5:05 pm
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Here’s the story of Al Sullivan, who hit a patch of ice and went careening down a mountain:

Sullivan’s trusty Pontiac minivan plunged 400 feet down a steep slope at about 4 p.m. Saturday. Some of those inside shouted as the vehicle tumbled down the mountainside, Sullivan said. The van rolled, maybe just a couple times, maybe more.

Sullivan’s wife, Linda, had to be carried out on a stretcher. The other five passengers climbed out of the ravine with the help of search and rescue crews. After going to the hospital Saturday evening, everybody slept in their own beds Saturday night.

Buckle up, y’all.

Matt Bramanti | February 15, 2005 at 5:03 pm
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Michael Jackson’s lawyers must be losing their minds:

Judging from the list of potential defense witnesses, Michael Jackson’s child molestation trial could be a star-studded affair.

Among those who could be called to the stand are Jackson’s own children and a variety of celebrities, among them Kobe Bryant and Elizabeth Taylor, his lawyer told jury prospects Monday.

Brilliant strategy. In a case dealing with proper sexual mores, let’s hear from an accused rapist and a woman who’s had eight husbands!

Matt Bramanti | February 14, 2005 at 4:36 pm
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I am certainly no fan of Barbara Boxer, but this is a classy gesture on her part:

Senator Barbara Boxer will receive perhaps the splashiest Valentine’s Day gift on Capitol Hill today.

Some 24-hundred roses will be delivered to her office from supporters who contributed to the “Barbara Boxer Rose Campaign.”

Boxer says she was “very touched.” Her office has arranged to transfer the flowers tonight to Bethesda Naval Hospital in Maryland and Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, which treats soldiers wounded in Iraq.

Good for her.

Matt Bramanti | February 14, 2005 at 4:35 pm
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A blogger calling for higher correction standards from a major metropolitan newspaper? What a concept!

How do you think L.A. Times editors would feel if their reputations were unfairly smeared on the front page of a national newspaper? Would they be satisfied with a small correction hidden inside the paper? Not likely.

The Times can prove that it takes the journalistic value of fairness seriously by placing noteworthy corrections in a more prominent space. A substantive correction should be at least as conspicuous as the original article in which the error appeared. A correction of a substantial error in a front-page article should run on Page 1. The policy would make it more likely readers would actually see corrections of significant errors. It would give reporters and editors greater incentive to get stories right. And it would encourage more vigorous scrutiny for political bias, latent or overt.

Now that’s an idea. If only the Chronicle would listen.

Matt Bramanti | February 14, 2005 at 4:34 pm
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Yes, it has three windshield wipers.

Is a Hummer too wimpy for you? Don’t like the big-rig style of the International CXT? Try this Bad Boy, built right here in the Lone Star State:

But the Bad Boy Heavy Muscle Truck, a dressed-up military vehicle more than twice as heavy, is being billed as bigger, badder and more bodacious.

“It’s the rugged Bubba,” said Daniel Ayres, president and CEO of Homeland Defense Vehicles LLC and its division Bad Boy Trucks.

The East Texas company aims to market the machine to civilians with disposable cash and a hankering for more protection from the outside world. A $379,000 version made its public debut in January at the Dallas Safari Club convention.

For a base price of $225,000 – nearly twice the Hummer H1 wagon’s base price of $117,508 – consumers can get a basic version of the 10-foot-tall Bad Boy that can drive through five feet of water, climb a 60-degree grade, tow six tons and keep rolling even with a quarter-sized hole in the tire’s sidewall.

Email me if you’d like to contribute to the Matt Bramanti Stuff Acquisition Fund. We accept cash, checks and daughters.

Matt Bramanti | February 14, 2005 at 4:34 pm
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